Today, I realized that the only woman who shows any sexual interest in me at all is my 70-year-old neighbor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
Today, my 70 year-old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML
Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML
Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML
Today, I'm so insecure that I was still slightly flattered when the demented old man at the nursing home where I work hit on me, because at least somebody finds me attractive. FML
Today, after almost 20 years of celibacy, a beautiful young woman surprisingly took interest in me, and we get along great. My close female friend, who I did once have feelings for, but who always made it clear she'd never see me "in that way" is having a full-blown emotional breakdown. Well, according to her husband anyway. FML
Today, I realized the only person who’s ever loved me was an old friend. She was an amazing girl, she was there for me at my highs and lows, but I didn’t find her attractive, so I turned her down. She has since then moved on and gotten married, while I’m still getting played left and right by women. FML
Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML
Today, I found out my most attractive co-worker has a crush on me. I'm 53. She's 16.. FML
Today, my neighbor, who is an elderly woman that I barely know, decided to tell me about how she feels she's lost too much weight and now when she looks at herself naked she thinks her boobs hang and look like bull testicles. FML
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Top comments
cakefete2 31
Not so much huge as long.
SamSwebb 24
Better than no-one ... I guess :)
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Comments (100)
EvilLittleMan 23
Just imagine the pleasure she will give once she spits out those dentures.
RomeyRich 22
im curious as to how you found that out
91hayek 31
If I've learned anything from FML, it's that old people don't play by social convention. She probably grabbed his ass or turned up at his door with an open robe and nothing underneath.
androtech 12
#35 Your answer made my day
DemosthenesMB 13
Well, think of it this way; out of the many people she's met in her 70 years of living, you were one of the few who turned her on.
monsterMEG 8
Time to get dat early bird special
worldclassrager 41
That's gross but it's better then no one I suppose
lmfao_forreal 7
Ah yeah get it.
LtShineySides 4
Pussy is pussy, bro
kat_moore15 12
Hey! Go for it... Just get drunk or something... Everyone looks better when drunk. Even a wrinkly 70 year old.
wiseKat99 13
Ah, that's, umm.... Well at least she's a woman!!!!
mchmelev1993 10
Listen man YOKO thats the motto