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FMyLife
Anonymous New York, United States

Today, I found out my fiancée's been cheating on me. Her excuse? Her ADHD made her do it. FML

126

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Halloween

A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.

Same thing different taste

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Top comments

briang959 47

Alternate Dick Holding Disorder?

Godsofdracos 15

17 didn't get this thread....

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Comments (126)

Serire 18

She confusing men for squirrels now?

adrian1910 15

What does that even mean?

thevelociraptor 31

I think it means #1 doesn't know what ADHD is.

Toriahh 21

I thought it was a "up" reference. Only because the dog always got distracted and said squirrel.

Just_A_Tree 20

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

I've got ADD, which is similar too ADHD, and you don't see me humping everything with two legs and a heart beat, that's above 18 years old! I might think about it a lot, but I certainly don't act on it!

skittyskatbrat 19

ROFL! Anyone with ADHD gets that joke ;) Also... "How many ADHD kids does it take to change a lightbulb?" Answer: "Let's go ride bikes!"

skittyskatbrat 19

#20, It's a reference to how distractable someone with ADHD can be. Any conversation or activity can be derailed by anything that pops up as remotely interesting. Such as a squirrel outside the window. "Squirrel!" is a running in-joke.

iainduncan3 9

Why all the dislikes? I'm ADHD and find the halarious. Btw, shitty exuse, sorry op

jake_braves 25

Time to get a new fiancé.

briang959 47

Alternate Dick Holding Disorder?

devildog562 33

Automatic dick humping disease

jazmin3012 28

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?

Godsofdracos 15

17 didn't get this thread....

Randyrhoads1994 11

Always dick hungry disorder?

devildog562 33

There is always one who doesn't follow suit . Don't judge! Throw rocks like a man ....

JuggaloSimms1441 16

Big rocks! Agreed!

casualCrysis12 3

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

I have ADHD and I take offense to these jokes about it. It's not that funny..

rocker_chick105 31

If you can't take a joke, you're gonna have a long, tough life.

brand125 17

61 - thats nice, take all the offence you want cause its not a big deal

jazmin3012 28

#18 I understood it. it's just I wanted to add to the joke

DomiLove 26

#61 it's a joke not a dick don't take it so hard.

russfml 31

It's not jokes towards ADHD. It's a joke towards someone who is using ADHD as a terrible excuse to cheat

R3TROxLOV3 32

61, I have ADHD as well. The jokes are funny, and you're being kind of butthurt about the whole thing. No one is sitting here directly insulting you because of your ADHD.

shinikageWolf 15

Hyperactively humping other guys I guess?

chosha_fml 27

#61 You know what really should offend you? Some cheater trying to blame their bullshit on their ADHD. Do you want people assuming you would act that way, because you have ADHD?

cjwayy 22

I have ADHD and I think this is pretty hilarious.

Axipiter 24

Back on topic... Another Dick Harlot Disorder?

cjlerch 29

#61 - So do I, but I'm not crying about it.

skittyskatbrat 19

#61 I have ADHD and I think it definitely has its opportunities for humor. Drawbacks, yes, but you gotta take it with a sense of humor. It's like being tall or short. You can get upset, or you can threaten... "Make one more short joke, and I swear to God I will come over there, jump really high, and bite your knees!" As long as it's not done in a deliberately insulting manner by someone who actually thinks it really is an insult, I'm fine with it. Deliberately insulting? That'll just piss me off. Otherwise, grow a thicker skin.

Zebediabolical 45

Another Dumb Hore Disease?

Zebediabolical 45

...cuz she's so dumb she can't spell ***** right.

Gittoh 21

don't just accept all comments given to you just because if the sender 'didn't mean anything bad'. they need to learn that you can't joke or comment on every-*******-thing ! I have a ton of stuff about myself that I joke about, and then there are things that I can't/won't/are not ready to joke about. If someone comments on the wrong thing, wether it be someones height, weight, nose, diagnosis, it can really hurt people!

fawfulster 11

But only if she's holding it to get to sleep.

luverofakatsuki 16

i have adhd myself and i find this highlarious

japtap81 16

A dick holding douche?

DevilsAltair 8

I laughed so hard at this I farted

wtffml1979 22

#88 Booooo. And first comment of the next day. Woop woop

Shrekie_fml 23

Yeah, making fun of someone's disability isn't a joke it's downright disrespectful.

Szaszaspasz 26

I have ADHD and I think it is hilarious. You gotta laugh at yourself. :)

collegekid2015 6

I think you mean *ex-fiancée.

may14th 26

these comments on every FML like this are unoriginal.

spatula232 25

So are these replies now...

DArthurVaderian 18

How ironic: the "unoriginal" comments are now unoriginal

drummer1017 8

Seems legit. Sounds like you caught her with her pants down (literally)

BSnapZ 21

No. Not literally.

smilevue 23

It's like excuses are getting more ridiculous by the day. And I'm sorry that she was cheating on you. That always sucks.

flufee2 27

If i die in iraq aint nothin to it, my ADHD made me do it...

Draxanoth 15

As I read this, Sail by Awol came on. Coincidence? I think not.

LittleRed79 39

Blame it on my ADD baby!

slapintheface69 11

"Why did you rob the bank?" "The leprechaun told me to get his gold."

russfml 31

Reminds me of the Simpsons with Ralph Wiggum. "Now you know what to do burn them, burn them all" lol

AFaye3964 17

she cant blame her ADHD on that.

omi194 8

Or that on her ADHD. Both aren't very logical to do.

TogeBara 12

My doctor explained my ADHD to my parents very simply. A child is standing behind a girl with a ponytail. His brain thinks to itself, "I wonder what would happen if I pulled her ponytail?" and before he can think anything like, 'it would hurt her,' or, 'I would get in trouble' he has already yanked on the ponytail and is now thinking, "I should NOT have done this. This was bad." I am in no way making excuses for her, but the basic theory lines up. Either way, it didn't just 'happen' I would guess and I would say that she probably led up to this with meetings or something.

garrett_8614 14

Fair assessment, but cheating is a lot more thought out than grabbing a ponytail

kalbrek009 20

By that definition it would not be ADHD but instead an impulsive/compulsive type disorder more like OCD...if that's how your Dr "simply" put it then your parents need to find a different Dr for you because the Dr "simply" doesn't know what they're talking about &/or knows your parents won't question such nonsense while continuing to waste money. Sorry #9, FYL.

therouni 23

That is way off. I have ADHD that is not exactly how it works. Quite opposite of that. And besides, pulling a ponytail and ******* someone are vastly different. I don't have to process that to know that its wrong.

TheCutestLizard 28

Sexual impulsivity is a characteristic of Impulsive ADHD.

gracehi 33

I have ADHD and impulsivity can indeed be a symptom, but not everyone has it. Fortunately for me, I don't, but that particular symptom is much more common in boys than girls... and #9 is a boy.

SmittyJA24 26

"More common" in boys? My psych professors (yes, plural) stand on the premise that ADD is a purely male phenomenon, as massive multi-tasking is a female phenomenon.

CaptainCookie 8

32, that wouldn't be what OCD is like. OCD would be more like "I have to pull on this girl's ponytail or something terrible will happen." OCD compulsions are based around irrational fears, not curiosity.

AloysiusWeasley 15

Sounds like people who have this shouldn't inflict themselves on others. Makes me wonder how much of the high divorce rate is due to mentally defective people who ruin others then blame it on "I couldn't help it! I have the ADD/ADHD/Assburgers/whatever!"

amberv61 22

Really assburgers? Not sure if you are joking or not. If you're not it's aspergers

Valkeryia 13

I've been dealing with ADD for years and that is not how it is. It's more like you ask someone to do a task and they walk off only to come back an hour later with something else and not what you asked.

gracehi 33

67, Well my neurologists (yes, plural) would disagree with your psych professors. Boys and girls can both have ADHD. And I can say with certainty that your psych professors are wrong, because I'm a female with ADHD. And I'm not sure you understand what ADHD is, because multitasking can also be a symptom of ADHD. It's an inability to focus on one thing. So a person with ADHD will start an hour long project, then 10 minutes in realize they have something else they need to do, start working on that instead, then see a book they wanted to read, start reading it, then get a little thirsty and make an elaborate smoothie, then remember what they were going to do in the first place, go back to that, and ten minutes later remember that second thing they started doing and do that instead. So ADHD is basically multitasking gone so awry that no one task can be finished. So to say that woman can't have ADHD because they multitask is a really stupid statement.

olpally 33

Bullshit! What a dumb cheating ****. Dump her. Sheesh.

EvilTurtle 35

little harsh?

olpally 33

Nope. Perfect.

Honema 16

Being dumb or a **** isn't something bad... though the fact that she cheated and lied to try and cover up insultibg millions of other people, THAT is bad.

brand125 17

49 - did you really just say that? so you wont get insulted if i call you dumb? (lacking intellegence)