Today, I realized that the only woman who shows any sexual interest in me at all is my 70-year-old neighbor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
Today, my 70 year-old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML
Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML
Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML
Today, I'm so insecure that I was still slightly flattered when the demented old man at the nursing home where I work hit on me, because at least somebody finds me attractive. FML
Today, after almost 20 years of celibacy, a beautiful young woman surprisingly took interest in me, and we get along great. My close female friend, who I did once have feelings for, but who always made it clear she'd never see me "in that way" is having a full-blown emotional breakdown. Well, according to her husband anyway. FML
Today, I realized the only person who’s ever loved me was an old friend. She was an amazing girl, she was there for me at my highs and lows, but I didn’t find her attractive, so I turned her down. She has since then moved on and gotten married, while I’m still getting played left and right by women. FML
Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML
Today, I found out my most attractive co-worker has a crush on me. I'm 53. She's 16.. FML
Today, my neighbor, who is an elderly woman that I barely know, decided to tell me about how she feels she's lost too much weight and now when she looks at herself naked she thinks her boobs hang and look like bull testicles. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cakefete2 31
Not so much huge as long.
SamSwebb 24
Better than no-one ... I guess :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (100)
babygurll19 10
That just means you're very mature for your age :)
ifunny_man 2
Hey all I have is my imaginary friend bob. I haven't quite unlocked females yet
mpkpm 19
Ask her out??
JD1147 27
Yes Man was on tv here last night. Same issue in part of that movie. You're not Carl Allen, are you?
Shopduster 9
That's no cougar.. That's a leopard! ( Cause of the liver spots)
callmefireman 7
Nice
phatdaddy62 23
Not really.
blancoing 14
you into cougars? lol
chocolatefrog28 29
You've never had a hummer until you've gotten one from a gummer. Could be fun.
thomcmoore 23
Did you just...?
Not_Impressed13 9
Yes. She did.
illegalbeagle69 23
Hit it and tell your friends you hooked up with a mature and very very experienced woman haha.. or go talk to some girls your own age!
That_Ginger 18
You live in Canada.. it's spelled 'neighbour'. Tsk tsk fellow Canuck.
ruxtain 15
Ewww How did you find out anyway?