Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years-old. FML
Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying, and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML
Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
Today, my younger brother and I got into a fight over who the favorite child is. My mom overheard, came in the living room and said, "It's your little brother, now shut up." She was serious. FML
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, my 7 year-old brother asked me what "horny" meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML
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Top comments
theauthor 0
LOL i had a similar experience when my 3 1/2 yr old cousin told me sadly that "tomas the tank engine is shit"
Cogeno 0
I remember my 9 year old nephew recently got suspended for telling the teacher to 'Go suck her husband' after she was giving him shit.
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Comments (102)
Tirade_fml 0
Haha your brother is a G
babydoll86_fml 0
Hahah, awesome. I once told my mum about the other 'little *******' at pre-school, she still laughs about it and I'm in my twenties.
effliffe 0
your little brother is awesome!
Mortal_Light 0
My 2 year old cousin drops f-bombs every time he goes down the steps
weicn 0
haha. Funny as shit. By the way wat does YDI stand for? you dumb idiot?
rebekahmarie 0
It means you deserve it, but close.
alex_vik 1
#16 - While that's what it means, it usually also means what #15 said too.
PTERONOPHOBIA 0
I teach my younger siblings (a ten year old and two seven year olds) to say shit like that all the time, on purpose, because that is my job as the eldest by 9 years. Once when my brother's teacher asked why he wasn't doing his work, he replied "I'm gangster as shit."
pinto502 0
^^you are a genius! lmfao I love this :D
HAHAURLIFESUX 0
Awesome. Yeah my brother and two sisters learned this lesson with me. They're 8 and 13 years older respectively and I blurted out a ton of inappropriate comments between 3 and 6. I got my behind whipped a few times for it but they took the brunt of it.
greenman_fml 0
eh it's not like she's blood, she could have very well sucked one that night. older sibling wingmen are the best!
keke_fml 0
HAHAHAHAHAHA *favorited*