Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years-old. FML
Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying, and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML
Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
Today, my younger brother and I got into a fight over who the favorite child is. My mom overheard, came in the living room and said, "It's your little brother, now shut up." She was serious. FML
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, my 7 year-old brother asked me what "horny" meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML
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Top comments
theauthor 0
LOL i had a similar experience when my 3 1/2 yr old cousin told me sadly that "tomas the tank engine is shit"
Cogeno 0
I remember my 9 year old nephew recently got suspended for telling the teacher to 'Go suck her husband' after she was giving him shit.
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Comments (102)
Carlynator09 0
this one made me laugh, I hope you didnt get in too much trouble with your parents though i remember i got in trouble when my little cousins asked me what all the cuss words meant and i told them lol, i thought they had a right to know.
annis_fml 0
Yeah you might not know it but little kids can pick up on everything. My friend's two year old boy has started swearing...
ub6ib9 0
yeah omg, my little brother just turned 3, and i ALWAYS get pissed off at my mom, so one day i was sitting in my room after a long fight with my mom, and my brother comes into my room and hes like, why are you upset? and im like "**** mama shes a bitch :( you'll understand when you're older, and im already moved out" then the next day my mom yells at him for throwing food. and he says " NO **** YOU MAMA!I HATE YOU! " hahaha thank god my momis european, and used to swearing or i woulda been in shit.. XD
sneakersneaker 0
Kids say the darndest things! hahaha, you have to watch it around them, they're like sponges... always remember everything they hear
doomfromheaven 0
Dude, your little bro... Is freakin' awesome.
black_panda 0
Dude, your little bro... Is freakin' awesome. [2]
Scootles7 0
HAHAHAHA that's amazing
theoldGP 0
#1 hahah thats great honestly though you do have to be careful. they always want to talk and act like the "big kids" he really does look up to you and your friends.
WellThatSuckz 14
Haha,That happens often.
bakersdozen 0
good job little kid.... your on your way to many years of therapy