Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years-old. FML
Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying, and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML
Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
Today, my younger brother and I got into a fight over who the favorite child is. My mom overheard, came in the living room and said, "It's your little brother, now shut up." She was serious. FML
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, my 7 year-old brother asked me what "horny" meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML
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Top comments
theauthor 0
LOL i had a similar experience when my 3 1/2 yr old cousin told me sadly that "tomas the tank engine is shit"
Cogeno 0
I remember my 9 year old nephew recently got suspended for telling the teacher to 'Go suck her husband' after she was giving him shit.
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Comments (102)
theauthor 0
LOL i had a similar experience when my 3 1/2 yr old cousin told me sadly that "tomas the tank engine is shit"
fuzz97 23
XD
GiddyXD 0
lol!!!
PlasticShark 0
Haha, my hero.
oliv34 11
the 90s called they want their hairstyle back
roar__ 0
That's the greatest thing I've heard in a while.
emorockerownage 9
w000t
RyeBreadBoy 0
hahaha hilarious. you should teach him snappy comebacks on purpose just to amuse yourself.
Jimboom 12
Lol. The kid is well on his way to being one of the cool kids. Now, if you could just get him smoking and drinking he will REALLY be advanced for his age.
kateRAWR 4
U got that one right
jimmy_vansuelo 10
You shouldn't ever have kids...
ml_augustus 23
Wow great advice
arby 0
I forget the context, but I told my mother about something that happened that really sucked, her response? "that sucks... That sucks the big one." I was in a state of shock.
were_giraffe 2
they ALWAYS pay attention to what you say.
lucy331 0
true that!!!
Cogeno 0
I remember my 9 year old nephew recently got suspended for telling the teacher to 'Go suck her husband' after she was giving him shit.
thekreeperkeeper 0
nice, my niece of the same age called me a cocksucker once....