Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years-old. FML
Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying, and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML
Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
Today, my younger brother and I got into a fight over who the favorite child is. My mom overheard, came in the living room and said, "It's your little brother, now shut up." She was serious. FML
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, my 7 year-old brother asked me what "horny" meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML
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Top comments
theauthor 0
LOL i had a similar experience when my 3 1/2 yr old cousin told me sadly that "tomas the tank engine is shit"
Cogeno 0
I remember my 9 year old nephew recently got suspended for telling the teacher to 'Go suck her husband' after she was giving him shit.
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Comments (102)
jennxD 0
haha nice alex ;D
cheerfreaakk 0
aaaaaahahahah just like in meet the fockers.. good movie cute brother you must have
Logica42 0
That reminds me of how my parents used to let me use the keys to unlock the car doors and stuff when I was like three, and they were both in the navy and swore quite a bit... apparently, I said "God damn it, I used the wrong key". ...this is so much better than that. :D Awesome.
bored123 0
LOL omg thats hilarious and bad 4 u at the same time hope u didnt get in trouble 4 teachin hoim that lol
A7X5989 0
amazing
TevinFAME 0
LOL! Haha this is funny, almost as funny as Talladegana Nights when the kids go off on Chip! I'll come at you like a spider monkey!
BCrazzi 9
OMG MY FAVORITE LINE! I think I've met my soul mate :D
wickedlove 0
This might be my fave today...along with the water-ballooned cop car.
FuzzMonkey09 0
Lol...reminds me when I was two and I told my mom to shut the hell up.
lolol182 4
best little dude ever
l33tm0nk3y 0
yeah...little kids are a lot like parrots, really.