Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, bitch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that I have been playing a little too much Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I realized this when I was watching a youtube video and there was someone walking in the background who I impulsively tried to gun down and kill by moving my mouse over him and clicking repeatedly. FML
Today, I was playing some CoD online, when I realised I'd started humming an annoyingly catchy Bieber tune. Before I could come to my senses and pull out my mic, a bunch of my teammates started sarcastically singing along. FML
Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML
Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML
Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML
Today, as I was texting a friend, I was going to warm up some cold pizza. As I got finished with a text I put the pizza in the microwave and set the timer. After the timer ran out, I opened the door and smelled burnt plastic. Turns out phones aren't meant to be in the microwave. FML
Today, I was craving some popcorn, so I went to the supermarket and bought the microwaveable type. When I got home, I remembered I didn't have a microwave. FML
Today, I tried to reheat some leftover pizza in the microwave but forgot to take the plastic wrap off. The microwave filled with smoke, and the plastic melted onto the pizza. I ate burnt plastic-flavored pizza for lunch, because pizza is pizza and I couldn't bring myself to through it away. FML
Today, I was making one of those microwavable pizza kits. Realizing I had no crushed red pepper to put on it, my mom suggested using a chili pepper she had dried. Thinking it was a great idea, I cracked it open on my pizza and out popped some fuzzy white mold and two maggots. FML
Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand when I shouted, "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
So you're a spawncamper? ...I hate you.
Fichael 0
don't feel bad I've been throwing stuff at ppl thinking I'm using a tomahawk
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Comments (178)
warplayer 2
When I was in high school it was all about Counter Strike (and not Source, I'm talking the original).
mintcar 10
I know nothing about COD, but you might want to cut back if you think you're playing too much.
ShadyFTW1 0
If you knew COD, you wouldn't make such a ridiculous statement.
ipwnlosers 4
^ WIN
Xavi89 0
amen 19
mintcar 10
Haha.
MissxXXItalia 5
spawn camper! >:0
heather_bunny 3
...that's just...a little bit lame... :P
salaamdelroba 0
Rofl this FML made my day
Sweetie2u 1
agreed!
xThatAsianGurlx 0
Haha too much COD? No such thing! But yeah don't be such a spawn camper lol
wwerulez14 6
Agreed. I'm not an addict, and even I find it difficult to, for example, keep track of time. One minute it's 2:30, and 2 matches later it's 4:45 and you're like "Wait, what?..."
Draminicaus 0
Campers get a Semtex to the face. Courtesy of Drammy. lol There's nothing better than the screams of hate after a well aimed .203 xD
C6Racer 0
Yes there is. The sound of someone suddenly missing there head after I shoot it off with my silenced .50
cdatribe23 0
you can't help if it's badass-ness rubs off on u lol
like_its_ya_bday 0
lmfao
ebeth22 0
lol yeah cod is amazing!!!
DocBastard 40
HAHAHAhaha ha ha. Um... I have no idea what this means. I haven't played a video game since Starcraft. I've been too busy having SEX WITH MY WIFE.
Sirin_fml 47
So have I, Doc, so have I.
SmokeMoles 0
Yet you spend time replying to FMLs?
Mehness 0
Sirin, you're busy having sex with your wife? Sounds... like fun. Refer to profile picture.
DocBastard 40
Sirin- you're having sex with my wife?
Sirin_fml 47
Yes. Though to which comment I respond, I refuse to say. Maybe both?