Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, bitch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that I have been playing a little too much Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I realized this when I was watching a youtube video and there was someone walking in the background who I impulsively tried to gun down and kill by moving my mouse over him and clicking repeatedly. FML
Today, I was playing some CoD online, when I realised I'd started humming an annoyingly catchy Bieber tune. Before I could come to my senses and pull out my mic, a bunch of my teammates started sarcastically singing along. FML
Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML
Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML
Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML
Today, as I was texting a friend, I was going to warm up some cold pizza. As I got finished with a text I put the pizza in the microwave and set the timer. After the timer ran out, I opened the door and smelled burnt plastic. Turns out phones aren't meant to be in the microwave. FML
Today, I was craving some popcorn, so I went to the supermarket and bought the microwaveable type. When I got home, I remembered I didn't have a microwave. FML
Today, I tried to reheat some leftover pizza in the microwave but forgot to take the plastic wrap off. The microwave filled with smoke, and the plastic melted onto the pizza. I ate burnt plastic-flavored pizza for lunch, because pizza is pizza and I couldn't bring myself to through it away. FML
Today, I was making one of those microwavable pizza kits. Realizing I had no crushed red pepper to put on it, my mom suggested using a chili pepper she had dried. Thinking it was a great idea, I cracked it open on my pizza and out popped some fuzzy white mold and two maggots. FML
Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand when I shouted, "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
So you're a spawncamper? ...I hate you.
Fichael 0
don't feel bad I've been throwing stuff at ppl thinking I'm using a tomahawk
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Comments (178)
J_rockk10 3
LMFAO COD MW2 & BLACK OPS FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
talksarahh 0
lol fml858, y did u name your dog gucci...? get off this wep site and go outside. and stfu about replying if u ever do
Blacksmokehick 0
thats pretty messed up. do you do the same when you jerk off?
JES006 0
wow I bet you don't even play games
sonic_boom 0
battlefield is for ppl who think they are men because they are too fat to see their vaginas. :)
Mahkymahk 0
gamer
Brooklyn39_fml 0
Hahahaha that's funny
paigealynn 0
<3 it!!!!
anorexicbarbie 8
Girls: Just because the only game you play is CoD or Halo, doesn't make you a "cool kid". OP: Black ops is only good because of its story, play Mass Effect or something.
thrAsHeRr9081 16
I'll kick your ass at any game. Bring it.
thrAsHeRr9081 16
I'll kick your ass at any game. Bring it.
anorexicbarbie 8
^ Takes life too seriously.
thrAsHeRr9081 16
You're an idiot if you think I was being serious. gtfo.
slushpup9696 12
agree with 127
anorexicbarbie 8
Same goes to you.
iSpasticFantasti 14
#111 Firstly, you get a win for your comment number... :( But... I've never played CoD or Halo and my hands used to hurt when I used xbox controllers before this year... and I play WoW. T.T This must make me extremely lame.
thrAsHeRr9081 16
Great comeback.
nobunaga0416 0
Spawn campers are bitches, and for the record so are noob tubers, but I pwn all your asses