Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, bitch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that I have been playing a little too much Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I realized this when I was watching a youtube video and there was someone walking in the background who I impulsively tried to gun down and kill by moving my mouse over him and clicking repeatedly. FML
Today, I was playing some CoD online, when I realised I'd started humming an annoyingly catchy Bieber tune. Before I could come to my senses and pull out my mic, a bunch of my teammates started sarcastically singing along. FML
Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML
Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML
Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML
Today, as I was texting a friend, I was going to warm up some cold pizza. As I got finished with a text I put the pizza in the microwave and set the timer. After the timer ran out, I opened the door and smelled burnt plastic. Turns out phones aren't meant to be in the microwave. FML
Today, I was craving some popcorn, so I went to the supermarket and bought the microwaveable type. When I got home, I remembered I didn't have a microwave. FML
Today, I tried to reheat some leftover pizza in the microwave but forgot to take the plastic wrap off. The microwave filled with smoke, and the plastic melted onto the pizza. I ate burnt plastic-flavored pizza for lunch, because pizza is pizza and I couldn't bring myself to through it away. FML
Today, I was making one of those microwavable pizza kits. Realizing I had no crushed red pepper to put on it, my mom suggested using a chili pepper she had dried. Thinking it was a great idea, I cracked it open on my pizza and out popped some fuzzy white mold and two maggots. FML
Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand when I shouted, "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
So you're a spawncamper? ...I hate you.
Fichael 0
don't feel bad I've been throwing stuff at ppl thinking I'm using a tomahawk
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Comments (178)
Mirorbo 27
Honey... I suggest rehab.
idkmyusername 0
I suggest a haircut. Dontcha think that Afros a bit big?
keefer 0
rehab doesn't help iv been hooked for 4 years now... my family disowned me I lost my job,my house, and my life... if only I didn't crave it so bad... there is no release!!!!!
manda_baby_rawr 4
are we still talking about cod...?
Icyyy 0
Lmao.
SACKERLAND 6
Gay
Howljerk 0
How in the HELL is this an FML? This actually got past moderation and posted - sad.
boredonfml 0
hahaha my friend did the same thing with his chicken a while back when he finished eating and wanted more, though this story relates to the release of halo 3.
Shazbanger 0
COD ftmfw.
xcrystal011 2
Call of duty sucks!!! its all about Halo(:
xxKAGExx 0
reach all day!!!!
Ezuniga 0
halo weak
thrAsHeRr9081 16
CoD players are not so much in the minority that people think they are. CoD FTW! ... If it's Infinity Ward, that is.
riseagainst8767x 0
nah man. treyarch is better than infinity ward. in my opinion at least...
thrAsHeRr9081 16
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion... but I haven't really liked any of Treyarch's games so far... The Treyarch CoD series isn't the limit either; the early Tony Hawk games even sucked... but in all honesty Black Ops isn't that bad. I just paid 120 dollars for two copies that I can't okay online and that lags when I play the campaign if I touch the AI characters. Yeah.
evilcartman 0
its ok wait til you get into high school, then you can drive.
organngrinder 0
I think you're my soulmate =D
chetchatter 5
lmfao same i play way to much MW2