Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to microwave a leftover burrito. I forgot to remove the foil it was wrapped in. The microwave went into overdrive in a dramatic display of sparks, the fire alarm went off, and I had to convince the neighbors at my door not to evacuate their apartments. I still haven’t eaten. FML
Today, I got yelled at by my mother for making noise after midnight. What was the noise? The microwave as I made something to eat. I work the night shift and had just come home from work, and I'm the only person in this house with a job. Apparently, me not paying her overdue bills cancels that out. FML
Today, while I was in a very important meeting on Skype, my apartment complex was evacuated due to the fire alarm going off. The reason was that my neighbor put a fork in his microwave due to him being extremely drunk. FML
Today, I tried to make popcorn in the microwave but forgot to remove the plastic wrapper. The kitchen filled with smoke, the fire alarm went off and my neighbors came knocking to see if I was alright. When they asked what caused it, I had to admit that it was “Erm… popcorn.” FML
Today, after spending an exhausting amount of time trying to stay quiet so I didn’t wake my housemates, even to the point of catching the microwave before it went off, I dropped my bowl of food right in the middle of the hallway between the bedrooms with a loud clang. FML
Today, I tried to warm soup in a travel mug. I forgot to take the metal spoon out. The microwave lit up like a firework display, and I screamed so loudly that my neighbor knocked on my door to check if I was alive. FML
Today, I was craving some popcorn, so I went to the supermarket and bought the microwaveable type. When I got home, I remembered I didn't have a microwave. FML
Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML
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Top comments
leeebeeeee18 20
Sounds like your neighbor needs to get laid.
Zeishah 26
Your neighbour is such a drama queen :/ hope the cops warned him for the unnecessary false alarm!
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Comments (78)
leeebeeeee18 20
Sounds like your neighbor needs to get laid.
redrexrider 5
If so I'm his neighbour
tranced_ 45
yeah, coz half the problems of the world could be solved by sex.
123amanda123 14
Or thicker walls .. That would work too
RougeKiller 9
Thicker walls would work for both situations here ;)
hashshim 23
29: I think that all problems could be solved with sex. Crisis in the middle east? Gaza strippers! Appartheid? Apart thighs! Cold War? Mr.Gorbachev, take down those pants! (Plus points if you get the reference.)
MortenM 17
#50 - great with plus points. But get the quote right first, yea? *mrs. Gorbachov (which might be misspelled tho)
hashshim 23
57: Yeah, it was a typo. My bad.
Nohman 14
There are several possible spellings, Gorbachev is also accepted as an English variant.
hashshim 23
I meant that I wrote Mr. Instead of Mrs.
Zeishah 26
Your neighbour is such a drama queen :/ hope the cops warned him for the unnecessary false alarm!
feven 32
My elderly neighbor is worse. She'll call the cops if I look at her wrong. Talk about racism.
FucYoCouch 13
I wonder how many times the cops were called as Op's neighbor "misheard" Op's keyboard as gunshoots as this FML was typed...
Cwizer 17
Those must be some thin walls if he heard you poke holes. Maybe call him a hooker?
tiernang 21
I don't think telling him he's a hooker would help.
jisaac09 25
@41, maybe not. It probably would make OP feel better though.
wolfgold2 20
How the hell do those even sound similar?
Tmas95 14
Jack, you ******* nosey bastard.
Lebeaugars95 20
lmaoo your neighbor is an extra bitch
olpally 33
What a dumb ass. How does that sound like gunfire?
tpm45 25
Clearly his neighbor plays too much COD.
warsun 27
If op's neighbour did play too much cod then real gunshots wouldn't "sound real" to said neighbour
drewflav 17
Maybe OP should return the favour, calling the cops on the neighbour claiming he heard machine gun fire (even though it was only popcorn). That ought to settle it. If OP is lucky the cops will find something illegal and haul the miserable bastard away.
IllestRated 17
I hate neighbors like those, fussing for no reason.
Welshite 40
Buy bubble wrap.
santosb1 11
then he'll call the cops on WWIII
BluKatz 11
And a heavy duty rolling pin. Machine gun that shit, yo!
worldclassrager 41
That seems to be really air tight...well it shows he cares I suppose but still that was unnecessary