Today, I went to get my first acupuncture. The doctor was a cute Korean woman, so I tried to start a conversation. When she pricked me with a needle near the tailbone, I involuntarily let one loose and saw her gag. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as a last resort for my back problems, I tried acupuncture. After the needles were placed and the doctor had left, I couldn't move for 30 minutes. I had a panic attack. FML
Today, I was very tense as I sat in the chair for my gyno appointment, so the doctor repeatedly told me to relax, in order for her to do the routine exam. I then overcompensated and relaxed so much, I accidentally farted in her face. FML
Today, my needle-phobic mother took me to get a shot. She fainted. FML
Today, at physical therapy, I felt that all-too-familiar gurgle in my gut, but I thought it would a light, silent fart. I squatted for an exercise and shit my pants in front of the cute, single, male physical therapist. He definitely noticed. I still had 30 minutes left in the session. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML
Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML
Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML
Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, I went to the doctor to get a blood test and I started crying when I saw the needle. I planned on becoming a doctor. FML
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Top comments
ScratchCatPower 32
Well, you couldn't help it. If she's an acupuncture doctor I'm sure she's dealt with it before. You'll survive.
Tripartita 45
As embarrassing as that sounds, I fear the worst is yet to come; you may have a rare condition called sitcom-itus. You've already exhibited an hilariously awkward foiled romantic attempt, so if you notice any of the following, I'd recommend contacting a doctor (or better screenwriter): problems that seem to solve themselves in half an hour, a diverse cast of archetypal friends, or an omnipresent studio audience.
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Comments (42)
domolovesyoshi 33
That's embarrassing I'm sorry this happened
Liyuesigs 8
Well, that's part of the conversation.
ScratchCatPower 32
Well, you couldn't help it. If she's an acupuncture doctor I'm sure she's dealt with it before. You'll survive.
vikky538 29
The question is whether she could survive with one OP set loose!
ScratchCatPower 32
Ha! Good one.
andrmac 25
Well it's kinda her fault. She's the one that poked you in the tail bone with an acupuncture needle that caused you to lose control and fart. Maybe she did it intensionally so you'd be embarrassed and stop talking. Never know!
AlittleSanity 11
Well ... that stinks
Tripartita 45
As embarrassing as that sounds, I fear the worst is yet to come; you may have a rare condition called sitcom-itus. You've already exhibited an hilariously awkward foiled romantic attempt, so if you notice any of the following, I'd recommend contacting a doctor (or better screenwriter): problems that seem to solve themselves in half an hour, a diverse cast of archetypal friends, or an omnipresent studio audience.
DankNissan 11
I am starting to see you on every FML with medical jokes that consistently get less funny. Seriously, you're trying too hard.
DankNissan 11
I am starting to see you on every FML with medical jokes that consistently get less funny. Seriously, you're trying too hard.
Tripartita 45
You're entitled to your opinion, and I'm entitled to wonder why you think I'd give a **** about it.
katachristic 19
#21, what are you talking about, that was hilarious
PePziNL 20
Dont mind #21, he has an enormous needle up his ass.
james_logan 19
#21, Jealousy can be a cruel mistress...
marko1596 24
This is so fake lol sorry not buying this shit
ThatHorse 15
Well I guess you punctuated that conversation quite horribly.
derpyshy 16
I tried acupuncture after suffering a fall and messing up my hand. The nerve/muscle spasms kept causing me to unwittingly flip the bird. Thankfully, the acupuncturist thought it as funny as hell.
SegaTortoise 12
you talk about it in past tense.... did the acupuncture work?
derpyshy 16
I did help somewhat with the tendonitis, yes. It helps with arthritis too, according to my mother.
Crazynocatlady 22
So you shit yourself. That shows you are comfortable with her. Good for you.
mfmylifesrsly 30
He didn't shit himself, he farted.
marko1596 24
This shit is so ******* fake kill yourself