Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, bitch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that I have been playing a little too much Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I realized this when I was watching a youtube video and there was someone walking in the background who I impulsively tried to gun down and kill by moving my mouse over him and clicking repeatedly. FML
Today, I was playing some CoD online, when I realised I'd started humming an annoyingly catchy Bieber tune. Before I could come to my senses and pull out my mic, a bunch of my teammates started sarcastically singing along. FML
Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML
Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML
Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML
Today, as I was texting a friend, I was going to warm up some cold pizza. As I got finished with a text I put the pizza in the microwave and set the timer. After the timer ran out, I opened the door and smelled burnt plastic. Turns out phones aren't meant to be in the microwave. FML
Today, I was craving some popcorn, so I went to the supermarket and bought the microwaveable type. When I got home, I remembered I didn't have a microwave. FML
Today, I tried to reheat some leftover pizza in the microwave but forgot to take the plastic wrap off. The microwave filled with smoke, and the plastic melted onto the pizza. I ate burnt plastic-flavored pizza for lunch, because pizza is pizza and I couldn't bring myself to through it away. FML
Today, I was making one of those microwavable pizza kits. Realizing I had no crushed red pepper to put on it, my mom suggested using a chili pepper she had dried. Thinking it was a great idea, I cracked it open on my pizza and out popped some fuzzy white mold and two maggots. FML
Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand when I shouted, "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
So you're a spawncamper? ...I hate you.
Fichael 0
don't feel bad I've been throwing stuff at ppl thinking I'm using a tomahawk
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Comments (178)
mend0120 0
haha !! that's wussup.
Trixies100 0
halo is not even ******* close to being as good as cod
Jester7 0
there is no such thing as too much call of duty!
MDeck 0
that's not bad went duck hunting today shot but only feathers came off the bird kept flying, i said f-ing hit markers!!!!!!
PrettyBoySwaggg 0
haha yeah today my mom told me I was stupid, so I told her to 1v1 quickscope me
carcinogan 0
lmfaoooooo!!!! that's a ******* win!!
SmAsHiNwInDoWs 0
doesnt every one play to much.... i svreamed at my cat when scratched me i yelled. "CAMMANDO!!!!!"
brieee 23
BAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHHHAHHAHAHAHAHAH i fail at the game >_< but you fail for saying that to a pizza.
akaashR 0
well I can say happily that I'd rather be a die hard about COD than Twilight
nixnox 0
You sound exactly like my ex. pathetic really, but its your life to waste, so good luck with that.