Today, I saw a poor helpless cat in the middle of the road while driving. I pulled over and scooped it in my arms to bring it to safety. Not only did I get mauled and scratched by the cat, my car also wasn't put in park and rolled away hitting a parked car. FML

Today, I was backing out of my snowy drive way on my way to work. I thought I hit a lump of snow. I'd run over my white cat. FML

Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML

Today, I swerved to avoid running over a dead cat in the road. Instead, I ran over its head. The crack of its skull was loud enough for me to hear it. FML

Today, I swerved to miss hitting a kitten, over-corrected, hit and killed the cat, and totaled my truck by hitting a parked car. FML

Not the brightest moggy

Today, my cat got outside and had the bright idea to walk in the middle of the road, right as a car was coming. The driver didn't notice him, so I had to sprint over there, leap into the road, and toss my cat to safety. He's fine, aside from being soaked (he landed in a puddle), but I've felt better. FML

Cats and Cars

Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML

Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my new car. FML

RIP in peace

Today, while going for a walk, I saw two bunnies next to the road. Apparently, I was scarier than the oncoming traffic, because one of them decided to sprint into the road as I walked by. I could hear its bones crunch as it got hit by a car. FML

Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML