Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML
Today, my boyfriend keeps trying to convince me that the hickey on his neck was from his friend attacking him with a vacuum cleaner. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, I gave myself a hickey on my bicep just to know how it feels. I'm a 28-year-old virgin and yes, that's possible. FML
Today, I got to my human anatomy class with a hickey on my neck. Since I sit in the front row, my professor noticed and decided to call me to the front. He then started talking about ruptured blood vessels and hickeys, all while as I served as the subject. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Today, I wrote a fake phone number on my neck to make it look like someone had hit on me. FML
Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML
Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML
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Top comments
milakitty21 0
who were you trying to impress?
srunano 4
Stop playing with your vacuum hose and go to a club or a party....then maybe you can get laid
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Comments (195)
volcomst0ned 0
wow
chapachristina4 0
hahaha!! he's a G.I.R.L!! haha WIN!! ^_^
shadowsbane 0
That was time you could've spent cleaning yourself up and going out somewhere and actually talking to someone and actually getting some action. What a waste. Enjoy your hand.
triggerit 5
did you make a hickey to vacuum cleaner?
L_M_L_10 0
Hickeys are disgusting and trashy. Why would you do that? No one, unless you are 12, think hickeys are anything special. Instead of spending the time on this FML you should be out meeting people so you dont have to pretend anymore! YDI....reminds me of the person who made out with the balloon.
dridri97 0
I feel bad that u have no action but u have nothing better to do than give yourself fake hickies!!!
machalaDGAF 0
PATHATIC.
IIIB23 0
Ugh... LLLOOO-AASSEEER Sorry dude.
mrmaks18 7
I hope you use a dyson vacuum and drink water might help wv your hickeys
BubbaCatLove 0
What are you? 12?