Today, my boyfriend keeps trying to convince me that the hickey on his neck was from his friend attacking him with a vacuum cleaner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend at work, only to notice that his neck was covered in hickies. The night before, he texted me saying he needed alone time to get his mind together. Looks like he got together with another mind. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML
Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML
Today, my boyfriend noticed a bruise on my hip. Apparently, he would rather believe I'm cheating on him, rather that I'm terribly clumsy at work. FML
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Top comments
It_gets_better 20
To be honest... that sounds like a pretty possible situation.
Leeono 26
Either way it sucks....
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Comments (23)
mayhem95 12
everything is possible nowadays, but your bf stupidly tryna be a smartass *douchebag* ???
Leeono 26
Either way it sucks....
It_gets_better 20
To be honest... that sounds like a pretty possible situation.
Donut_Wizard 23
Maybe he was getting gummed in his sleep by an old toothless vampire.
worldclassrager 41
They both have to do with sucking...it’s not too far fetched....
azouwa 26
Props to him!! Never heard that one... I used to leave stuff with guys so their girl could find out what's up... Never left a hickey.
SevieCookie 14
..Wh...Why..would you get with a guy if you knew they had a girlfriend?!
talal_icon 19
you're a terrible person. but it's the guy's fault for sleeping with you right? Why not be an adult and walk out after you find out, but no you're you dick thirsty to leave.
arioch_fml 20
geez people are naming their mouths now? that's so weird..... Good luck finding someone that deserves you Op.
Glowworm56 27
Okay, that gets points for originality--still terrible that he had to come up with an excuse rather than tell the truth.
Sickamore6789 7
It is entirely possible to be attacked with a vacuum cleaner I'm speaking from experience
Brain_fart 20
Today, my friend attacked my neck with a vacuum and my girlfriend thinks it's a hicky. FML