Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML
Today, my boyfriend keeps trying to convince me that the hickey on his neck was from his friend attacking him with a vacuum cleaner. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, I gave myself a hickey on my bicep just to know how it feels. I'm a 28-year-old virgin and yes, that's possible. FML
Today, I got to my human anatomy class with a hickey on my neck. Since I sit in the front row, my professor noticed and decided to call me to the front. He then started talking about ruptured blood vessels and hickeys, all while as I served as the subject. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Today, I wrote a fake phone number on my neck to make it look like someone had hit on me. FML
Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML
Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML
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Top comments
milakitty21 0
who were you trying to impress?
srunano 4
Stop playing with your vacuum hose and go to a club or a party....then maybe you can get laid
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Comments (195)
stizer_fml 3
i bet thats not the only thing you put the hose on ...
jessdemi 0
if OP is a guy at least he didn't use the vacuum to give him a hickey down there :) so OP quit whining & go outside & LIVE!!! we only get one life & to waste it :( it's a shame :)
star_struk 0
well... u no ur lonely whennn...
Arsonnist 3
YDI for putting quotes around action.
iWearTightPants 0
hehe u can get more action from that vacuum;) perhaps oral sex?? ^-^ it feels ever soo good;)<3
S0_Fricken_CUtE 0
hmmm.....
KAYRRIE 0
u shouldn't be ashamed of not getting any action. ur not getting any diseases either. and ur not being called a ****. so be proud of the no action and make it more of a proclamation until u find that special someone who thinks they're stuff is special enough to wait for u too.
cheergirly16 0
Awww and lookit Ops name.... that's so sad
EmoLuvsHugs 2
1 word......desperate.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
I think I'll stop trolling for one second to offer some serious advice: You CAN get some action. There is ALWAYS someone at least as horny as you are ugly.
ashleynonymous 0
Hickeys are not impressive. They look trashy. Quit playing WoW, leave your mom's basement and get out in the public. You'll meet someone.