Today, I put cucumber slices on my eyes to help me relax. I found this very calming till I woke up to ants trying to eat my eyes out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML
Today, I decided to take a nap in the park. I found a nice shady spot and closed my eyes. When I woke up, I realized I had fallen asleep on an ant hill. My entire body was riddled with ants. FML
Today, while squishing a stink bug, it sprayed directly in my eye. FML
Today, I had to prepare for my big meeting tomorrow morning. Before going to bed, I washed my face. Unfortunately, the towel I wiped myself with turned out to house our red ant infestation. My face looks like a ripe tomato. FML
Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my bed when I felt an itch on my arm. Then another. Then another. I finally looked to see what was going on, only to find a bunch of ants crawling in my bed. They were somehow getting in through the closed window. Guess I’m done sleeping tonight. FML
Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML
Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML
Today, I woke up early to weird scratching and smacking noises. After gathering enough courage to check what it was, I found out it was just an ant stuck on a piece of paper. FML
Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. and ate some chips that were on my nightstand, totally unaware that they were covered in ants. Now I have two swollen lips and my kid’s birthday party is tomorrow. FML
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Top comments
Reyo 2
What is the reasoning behind putting sliced veggies on your face to relax? Will sticking a carrot up my ass achieve the same effect?
paprikacha 9
It's supposed to reduce puffiness/dark circles under the eyes. I've never done it myself, so I have no idea how well it really works when you just use actual cucumber slices instead of the cosmetic cucumber pads they sell. Just saying there's a legitimate reason behind it and OP isn't just crazy. : )
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Comments (64)
supmofukka 0
where the fudge do u live where u cant hav cucumbers on ur eyes without ants tryin to eat them out (lol) ydi for havin an infestation....or for makin this up
gurlgonemadd 0
Reyo- u rocked my socks off lmfao! ur comment was way better then the FML itself......thx i needed that
SenGaeriel 3
OMFG! That is just creepy. You can get ants in the winter. I got them worse in the winter than summer. They like the heat.
fyl11122233 0
exactly! therefore this FML is not fake.
mollywebster55 0
How the hell could you of typed this when you said that ants were eating your eyes out - you would be blind!
cynima 0
Dear, she said trying. Trying.
lizzard01 4
maybe they succeeded. Molly, ! WIN !
maxene 0
This probably isnt true because cucumbers repel ants, it has some compound known as "trans-2-nonenal" that repels ants as well as cockroaches.
Flutist 3
Cucumber and citrus peels are toxic to the types of fungi that ants feed on.
Yulia_fml 0
If it's the cucumber peel that's toxic, and these cucumbers were sliced, then it's possible that they could've crawled onto the cucumber.
LauraTheKiwi 0
LOL REYO. ;D YDI for not checking the cucumbers. But I like the way this FML is worded. :L
allmidnighteyes 11
get an illustrizzy for this up in hurr
Jokaka 0
haha rontflmao
cel123456789 0
lmfao reyo
GanjAxZermA 0
ouch!! sorry :(