Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML
Today, I decided to take a nap in the park. I found a nice shady spot and closed my eyes. When I woke up, I realized I had fallen asleep on an ant hill. My entire body was riddled with ants. FML
Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my bed when I felt an itch on my arm. Then another. Then another. I finally looked to see what was going on, only to find a bunch of ants crawling in my bed. They were somehow getting in through the closed window. Guess I’m done sleeping tonight. FML
Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, I noticed a short, black hair on my loofah. I ignored it and lathered up my entire body with it. When I put it back down, a roach crawled out of it. What I thought was a black hair was in fact its antenna. FML
Today, I woke up early to weird scratching and smacking noises. After gathering enough courage to check what it was, I found out it was just an ant stuck on a piece of paper. FML
Today, I got up, curtains still closed, and in the dim light noticed something dark on the floor, which wasn’t there yesterday. I turned on the light to find out what it was. A tiny ant hill. FML
Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML
Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML
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Top comments
angela3222 0
EW WTF.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Shave.
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Comments (175)
angela3222 0
EW WTF.
cavalos94 0
just shave it sick bastard
silentvoice 0
ewww. either shave or go take a bath.
Fenteliman 0
I happen to love ants! Beard shaving soup, anyone?
Psychotic_Snail 0
SHAVE...
_streets_ 19
How delightful, maybe shower and shave...or just burn it..
mercedes3210 6
Sexy?
bhj_omar 0
exact thing Tht came in my head wen I read this
PuppiesFTW 5
..... or he can turn his beard on fire..... just a thought. O.O
bamagrl410 31
SICK! How does that even happen?! Note to self - check a guy's beard before making out with him.
Vasin_fml 15
I believe the same thing happened to Amy Winehouse's cooter. So you must have went down on her, and well thats just wrong.
JattPutt 0
67: You have ambiguous pronoun in your profile biography. "it invalidates..." does not specify what the "it" is, especially after the phrase in the beginning of the sentence. :-/
beepelati 5
138, you are creepy. 67, 138 kind of makes a point. you're a hypocrite
abdel959 5
hobolicious
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Shave.
Micayla 12
I was going to say the same exact thing.
marqarita0 0
I agree. :p ur hella pretty btw lol
OhShuttup 0
He's a caveman. They don't shave!
alwa7sh 2
I see some lady love starting here
cupcakemonster10_fml 0
......
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Derp. Thanks. :3.
020266t 5
shave? and get ant guts all over? ew
corkscrew8888 0
no sh*t XD
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Bathing once in a while might fix it too...
cuddlycactus 11
I like my beard, but if ants were living in it, even I would shave
cmur 0
isnt that cute? :P
sarah48_fml 0
It's adorable! I'm sure op has named all of them by now.
mercedes3210 6
Aw do you think he'll let me keep one?
KVloveBC 0
it's so cute!! I want an ant farm!!
dre_bro11 12
71, grow a beard, become a dirty grub and maybe they'll join you too. YDI OP!
KVloveBC 0
F*ck that..I just want one from OP's beard :)
xXanna_ 18
What??
wasabiinurvagina 0
Shave shave shave. >.<
ashhiieeslifesuc 1
Wow take care of yourself
Sadochan 0
^^ Exercise exercise e!xercise! Fat shit.
lol_ironic_life 9
That's not very nice #59. :-/ OP, definitely make sure they're alllll gone lol at least they weren't pissed off fire ants!
KVloveBC 0
59 STFU! where's your pic?
ImaginaryFoe 1
WTF is your problem, #59? You have nothing to do but pick on little girls, you pathetic fuckwad? GTFO and find a life or finish the job nature started and just kill yourself.
squirell_AIDS69 0
That's extremely disgusting. Shave your face or something you dirt bag.
CantinaRat 0
I agree :D
singhjr1 3
u should atleast shampoo or comb it
XxSonyaBladexX 0
I agree!!
12vballchick12 5
ew I totally agree!
SkateJon 8
LMFAO
Skroal_stomper 5
Wait one. you are saying ants have made a home in your beard? Need pics if that. I really find that strange.
Skroal_stomper 5
of that. (Sorry. damn small keys and fat fingers.)
spade1997 0
ever heard of a shower?
armorsmith42 0
The only solution is fire. Nothing will go wrong.
jeff93_fml 0
I like the way u think!!!
BatmansBabe 5
Shave!!