Today, I woke up early to weird scratching and smacking noises. After gathering enough courage to check what it was, I found out it was just an ant stuck on a piece of paper. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sleeping in my bed when I felt an itch on my arm. Then another. Then another. I finally looked to see what was going on, only to find a bunch of ants crawling in my bed. They were somehow getting in through the closed window. Guess I’m done sleeping tonight. FML
Today, I got up, curtains still closed, and in the dim light noticed something dark on the floor, which wasn’t there yesterday. I turned on the light to find out what it was. A tiny ant hill. FML
Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML
Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML
Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I decided to take a nap in the park. I found a nice shady spot and closed my eyes. When I woke up, I realized I had fallen asleep on an ant hill. My entire body was riddled with ants. FML
Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML
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Top comments
cacheson 42
How big was the ant??
Starlight8 14
Prolly committed suicide, cuz he just found out all of his uncles are ants. And how sharp is your hearing?
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Comments (7)
cacheson 42
How big was the ant??
Starlight8 14
Prolly committed suicide, cuz he just found out all of his uncles are ants. And how sharp is your hearing?
CrazyTrainWreck 19
Random Fact: Zombie Ants are real.
Nina 34
Fact checked and confirmed. Worth looking up.
Madrias 36
I understand that one very well. Been woken up by an ant crawling around on the empty plastic cup I had on the nightstand (saves making a trip out of the room just for a glass of water), thought it was a mouse until I turned on the light. Ants right next to your head can be surprisingly loud.
RichardPencil 32
Am I the only one who found this story *wait on it* ant-i-climactic?
Arashikage 18
Either that ant is HUGE or you have superhuman hearing