Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm when she looked at my clock and said, "I have to go, 'Lost' is on in 20 minutes." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex. I was on top and really into it but in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said, "Huh, look at the time, I gotta get home." She wasn't wearing a watch. FML
Today, my wife and I were Skyping, when she decided to put on a "show" for me. Seconds before she was about to climax, we lost internet connection. FML
Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl I had just met. After about five minutes in, she said she had to go to the bathroom, so we stopped and she left the room. After waiting around ten minutes, I decided to check if she was OK. The window was open. She was gone. FML
Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML
Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around on camera. I was mostly naked and putting on a show for her, when I noticed that she was looking off to the side instead of where she normally looks when she's talking to me. She was playing solitaire on her computer. FML
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Top comments
BrandOldDucky 0
Wow. Step up your sex game bro...
Bauer_fml 0
Hey, you can't miss an episode of LOST or else you'll be even more confused!
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Comments (98)
jpacker 0
ahahaha, dude i hate that show and thats possibly the funniest thing ive ever heard
mac222 0
to true
GraceMarieC 13
Are you insane?!? Lost is freakin' epic!! :D
TeeHee124 0
Sayeed is the best. Spoiler alert: Locke dies and the smoke monster is killed by Jack.
anormalperson 25
well...everybody has their own opinion I guess.
BrandOldDucky 0
Wow. Step up your sex game bro...
Plumppotato 3
its a compliment! can you keep it up for 20 minutes and not blow?
Samaki_fml 0
Definitely worth it.
KenMcGormick 0
she is right
Huzzah 0
Lost = my life
hunkydory 0
lmfao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! made my night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and sure, she couldn't watched it online, thus preventing your blueballs, but see lost is a show you watch when they first give it!
greenfairy_fml 0
if she thought to look at the clock she must not have been that into it...
Vinny66 0
My TV shows come first! (get it?) But seriously, I don't miss my stories for anyone... I don't watch Lost but definitely for Survivor!
Bauer_fml 0
Hey, you can't miss an episode of LOST or else you'll be even more confused!
Vintage_Cola 29
I'm not sure if this is a relevant similarity but it seems to me the same people who talk about these TV shows like it's their life have a similarity with those who play World of Warcraft, and that "insert TV show here = life," and that they can't miss a single event. However World of Warcraft is frowned upon but these TV shows aren't.
Lou_Briccant 0
Damn, you got ditched for a TV show. That ******* sucks. In all honesty, I'd dump her if she's gonna be like that.