Anonymous
Burbank, United States
Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Insomniac
Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband stops snoring while asleep is so that he can fart. FML
Tired Girlfriend
Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML
disgusted
Harpenden, United Kingdom
The language of love
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
anonomys
Canada
Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML
no sleep for me
Noise complaint
Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML
Fartnonymous
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
Doha, Qatar
Gassy
Today, it's been a week since I started farting in my sleep for no apparent reason. It's so frequent and so foul-smelling that my husband and I are both losing sleep and are having to take afternoon naps to make up for it. FML
Anonymous
United States
Cozy
Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML
PissedOff
Today, my husband sent me a short video of my snoring last night because I wanted to hear how bad I sound. The first few seconds went by OK, but for the rest of the clip I could barely hear anything else over the sound of my husband taking a long piss in our bathroom. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Anonymous
United States
Hilarious
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
Top comments
Zaxnu 0
Are you sleeping with my husband?
shayshayshazam 14
That really doesn't sound like a good time.
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Comments (81)
Zaxnu 0
Are you sleeping with my husband?
The_Hitdude 12
THAT kind of snoring can be a sign of underlying health issues OP. If it's a constant thing (which I gathered from the FML) then see a doctor.
cookeemonster 7
Or maybe, OPs husband is just one of the many people who snore.
WaywardDaughter 26
Get some ear plugs for the snoring and hope the farts don't smell!
itwasallyellow 0
Do drunken horses really snore?
Dracoboxer357 36
^ I have a horse. You bring the booze (yes for the horse, not me.) We can YouTube the results. Should be worthwhile. ;P
perdix 31
A drunken horse? Who knows how a drunken horse snores? This sounds like a good argument for pre-marital sex. It's one way to find out what sounds and smells your potential mate emits during sleep. His nighttime ritual sounds (and smells) like a deal-breaker.
Enslaved 38
Is it still called "pre-martial" sex if you don't plan on marrying that person?(:
perdix 31
Well, you plan on marrying them until they fart and snore. Also, it could also be considered "pre-marital" if you eventually marry someone else ;)
rubberduckie94 13
Sometimes even if I showered right before I went to bed I have to shower in the morning because I am paranoid I smell like my husband's farts.
trismagestus 19
#22: Pre-martial sex? That would be sex before the fist-fight starts. =P
rubberduckie94 13
I am unfortunately am in the same boat as you. Sometimes I kick him in the night to wake him up because calling his name and shaking him does nothing to rouse him. Then I just pretend I accidentally kicked him in my sleep the next morning
sparklecherry 4
Yep. Mine would sleep through a tornado.
BlackBlazeCobra 16
So, you've heard a drunken horse snore?
HerrBawl 4
You need to stop abusing horses by getting them drunk.
darkcosinus 16
You do know that snoring is easily treatable, right?
bramberkhout 10
Yeah, right. It's sometimes even a psychological problem, so sorry, thats really not true.
Mons_fml 27
I have noticed that most of the stories here on FML are girls complaining about their boyfriends.