Today, my car broke down. I had a two mile, up-hill walk ahead of me. About half way up the hill, a car beeped. Thinking they were poking fun at my misfortune, I began to curse and use obscene gestures, only to find out that it was my neighbor asking if I needed a ride. She drove off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on my way to work, I noticed a woman on the side of the road waving for help, her car appearing to be broken down. I pulled over, stepped out of my car, went over to her car, lifted the hood, and checked it. When I looked up to tell her what was wrong, she and my car were gone. FML
Today, my car broke down at a red light. A man pulled up next to me and yelled at me to get out of the fast lane. I thought he was gonna offer help, as I was a young woman on her own, but he just yelled at me and sped off. FML
Today, I missed my bus. I had to ride my bike 2 miles. Once I left, some jerk nearly hit me. I flipped him off and shouted obsceneties. It was my dad, offering me a ride. He left. FML
Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML
Today, my car broke down. I pulled to the side of the road to call a tow truck. After waiting what seemed like hours, the tow truck showed up, and then ran into the back of my car. FML
Today, my car broke down on the highway, and I had to call for a tow truck. It finally showed up, only to break down too less than a mile later. Cue nearly freezing to death while we waited for help to arrive for the both of us. FML
Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML
Today, a guy's car broke down in my street, so I helped him push it into my driveway, checked his car out, and gave it a jump start. He thanked me, then as he went to pull out, he instead smashed straight into my car. FML
Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML
Today, I was riding my bike on the side of the road because there was no sidewalk. Then a car with a loud horn honked at me. Pissed off, I turned around and screamed "shut the fuck up!" It was my girlfriend's parents saying hi. FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
What a nice assumption you made there.
eggjuggler 0
Wow. Even Mr. Rogers wouldn't want you as a neighbor now.
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Comments (69)
Freeze_fml 17
What a nice assumption you made there.
ohthebloodygore 16
Why would you do that? Are you idiotic, how were you sure they were even honking at you?
Freeze_fml 17
I'm not an idiot and I didn't do that. :(
joce445 0
The person wasn't talking about you, she was talking about the OP.
lolfylanydi 0
2 mile walk ain't bad at all, less QQ more pewpew, grow some balls and don't assume cause it makes an ass out of u and me
skroal 7
Slap me with a piece of ham.
joce445 0
Aha, ok. x)
Freeze_fml 17
My car never broke down. You're crazy.
PizzaGuy11 0
YDI for having a gay car
Freeze_fml 17
My car is very heterosexual.
eshhayz 0
ydi for not spilling period blood on the road
MyChemical_fml 0
Ydi for saying beeped not honked :/
Toxxic_Blackout 0
lmao @ freeze you're hilarious
okieraider71 4
Does not pay to be an asshole.
korn247 5
lmao!! I wouldn't driven off too. ydi
Lindahhxd 7
YDI. There's actually nice people out there.
thorfinntheassri 0
YDI for having your car break down
YourEvilHero 12
ydi for being not very smart
Rando77 0
19- I'll slap you with a piece of turkey breast. Ham is too good to be slapped with.
theFMLwhore5 0
wow, did your brain get stuck on that hill also?! retard..
BenD0VER 0
47 - Your mom slaps me with her breasts. :D
lilai1396 0
I think the reason freeze is replying to the insults and comments is because they are under his comment.
Bear_Flu 0
Oh suck it up, when I was a lad I walked 6 miles uphill to school and then walked 6 miles uphill back home! We skied up one side of the mountain, and then up the other side!
mells105 0
ydi OP for being a retarded asshole
Brittney_E 0
ydi. what if they were honking cuz they thought u were attractive? nice going ding-dong! now u have a neighbor that hates u.
Gvfell 9
Props to you for taking irrelevant replies literally.
Jessi_the_sexii 0
don't be such a sour-puss
joce445 0
Wow, dumb thing to do.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Most people turn around and look to see who the person is before reacting. YDI.
ilovejonathan13 0
you are so smart.
eggjuggler 0
Wow. Even Mr. Rogers wouldn't want you as a neighbor now.
kittykat1501 31
Good one
alexbeathalo2 4
you donkey donk
OwNowBrownCow 0
Your name suits you fine.
bleigh 0
you know what happens when you Assume?! ya I doubt I need to continue on with the cheesy punchline. but seriously, keep it in mind next time :D
chevyygirl 0
lol good job, ydi for not looking over first..