Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, while I was running around the block, I got the urge to spit. Suddenly I noticed this beautiful girl running in front me. Trying to impress her, I smiled and by mistake drooled everything on the pavement. She wasn't impressed. FML
Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the interview. FML
Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML
Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML
Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML
Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML
Today, I thought I was clever for doing my laundry while multitasking and making dinner. When I went to transfer my clothes from the washer to the dryer, I discovered that I'd accidentally washed a pack of gum that was in my pocket. The gum had melted into my favorite shirt, and I now have a sticky mess to deal with. FML
Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML
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Top comments
Official_Person 0
You don't blow a bubble gum bubble if you're trying to impress someone. Unless you're six.
foolishworkerbee 0
i bet she was most impressed.
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Comments (228)
paigeatsflesh 11
29 I love you!
GoSmegma 0
A real Rico Suave right here... Haha. I certainly would enjoy seeing that!!
CYNNER 0
nice first impression. maybe next time you can get drunk and puke all over her lap. that'll really make her like you.
KingRDZ 0
HAAAAAAAAAA
Miss_Lillian 0
well at least u didnt spit it on her?
FrecklesXO 8
Maybe you should have just stuck with "hello."
ImaginaryFoe 1
seanreddog, you are extremely fortunate not to have run into a few of the gay people I know because they would most certainly have "done something" about what you said. Why do you get to decide what's right and what's wrong?
melizza 0
WOW! LESBO! YDI for being gay.
MermaidSongXOXO 6
#61 Think of it like this: Would you like it if somebody told you "YDI for having the username melizza" ? You can't change who you are. Just because OP's a lesbian doesn't mean she deserves it.
paigeatsflesh 11
seriously? not cool. if you said that in person you would jumped.
paigeatsflesh 11
get jumped*
seanreddog 4
Homosexuality is wrong and disgusting. I'll say that to any gay person and they won't do shit about it.
ahugit 0
joon, I enjoy how forward you are (:
seanreddog 4
Well, she can't do a lot backwards, seeing as she's a lesbian.
seanreddog 4
No "badass" likes **** in their ass or pussy in their pussy.
MermaidSongXOXO 6
You know that some straight women let straight men put cocks in their ass, right? It's not only a homosexual man thing. BTW, lesbian sex is not "pussy in pussy". It's either fingering, or rubbing their vaginas together.
seanreddog 4
It was a joke. **** in a girls ass is still gay in my opinion.
MermaidSongXOXO 6
I thought you were joking in your first comment, but after the second comment I figured you were serious.
seanreddog 4
Why is it wrong for me to have my beliefs, but fine if they have theirs? I never said I didn't like gays or that they weren't good people, just that I don't agree with their lifestyle. You believe my beliefs about beliefs are wrong, which is hypocritical.
Sunset_Taco 0
82, I think that's where there term "bad ass" came from.
Sunset_Taco 0
idiot. You don't know what gay means. It means homosexual. **** means same. same sex. now think about why a man sodomising a woman is not same gender sex. did your puny brain add it up?
Sunset_Taco 0
and you say that calling gays "disgusting and wrong" is not the same as saying you dislike them? God, you ******* moron. And there is also a difference between normal opinions and hate opinions such as yours. Do you think it is okay to express the "opinion" that the holocaust never happened? Making hate comments about gays is as bad as making hate comments about black people.
seanreddog 4
You are an ignorant ****. When I said homosexuality is disgusting, I was refering to gay sex. When I said it was wrong, I meant that it was unnatural. Comparing me to a racist or a Nazi is insane. I like gay people, just not gay sex, if you can understand that. i never used the word "******" because I feel that it's offensive to gays. I like Elton John, Da Vinci, those guys on hgtv, and many other gays. Just because I don't agree with them on one issue doesn't mean I hate them as a person, which is what you seem to think of me.
squirell_AIDS69 0
Sean you're gay
jamie_leeann23 0
^^ seans the gayest. haha, you know he's only hating because he's a closet homosexual, who's ashamed. it's okay to come out Sean it's 2010. :)
darkmis1 18
The OP is a girl.
lolwtfwasthat 0
lolololol
Tripout 0
That's hot n add some sence to my last comment about them getting thier ass beat