Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, while I was running around the block, I got the urge to spit. Suddenly I noticed this beautiful girl running in front me. Trying to impress her, I smiled and by mistake drooled everything on the pavement. She wasn't impressed. FML
Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the interview. FML
Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML
Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML
Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML
Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML
Today, I thought I was clever for doing my laundry while multitasking and making dinner. When I went to transfer my clothes from the washer to the dryer, I discovered that I'd accidentally washed a pack of gum that was in my pocket. The gum had melted into my favorite shirt, and I now have a sticky mess to deal with. FML
Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML
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Top comments
Official_Person 0
You don't blow a bubble gum bubble if you're trying to impress someone. Unless you're six.
foolishworkerbee 0
i bet she was most impressed.
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Comments (228)
Theblue_fml 0
#29 I hate you (intended to be opposite of "I love you")
pal_205 0
that's embarrassing!
hannah201 0
haha smooth moves:)
kbaker90 0
FAIL! Sorry, I had to. : D
aardvarkish 17
We can obviously see that the yet enigmatic 'bubble gum culture' has yet to be fully understood.
ladybrava17 0
Hahahaha loser
GinandJenkem 0
It's not like you were going to get any considering you thought chewing gum would get you tang.
Alicia_Raven7 0
epic fail. grow up. what are you? 7?
ALegitNinja 0
WTF lesbos much?
Theblue_fml 0
no, I'm 8 >:l
sparky831 0
wat r we 9yrs old!? y would u blow a bubble! u a grown ass man!
mlipro 0
As you pointed out, we aren't 9 years old, so spell properly. Secondly, OP is a woman, not a man. And incase you haven't figured it out yet, she's a lesbian.