Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, while I was running around the block, I got the urge to spit. Suddenly I noticed this beautiful girl running in front me. Trying to impress her, I smiled and by mistake drooled everything on the pavement. She wasn't impressed. FML
Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the interview. FML
Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML
Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML
Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML
Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML
Today, I thought I was clever for doing my laundry while multitasking and making dinner. When I went to transfer my clothes from the washer to the dryer, I discovered that I'd accidentally washed a pack of gum that was in my pocket. The gum had melted into my favorite shirt, and I now have a sticky mess to deal with. FML
Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML
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Top comments
Official_Person 0
You don't blow a bubble gum bubble if you're trying to impress someone. Unless you're six.
foolishworkerbee 0
i bet she was most impressed.
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Comments (228)
paigeatsflesh 11
that's hawttt.
jetpackzach 5
how is it hot? haha i wouldn't want gum spit on me.....
samantha_durano 6
zach!:D lol.
paigeatsflesh 11
it was a joke, pumpkin(:
jetpackzach 5
haha sam! :D
jetpackzach 5
oh. sorry pumpkin :D
jetpackzach 5
oh. sorry pumpkin :D
paigeatsflesh 11
no worries! I forgive you(:
samantha_durano 6
zach you should text me later:D
jetpackzach 5
ok I will sam :) and haha ok paige :)
jetpackzach 5
Paige......do u work at subway? because your giving me a footlong!!!!! haha just kidding!!!!
paigeatsflesh 11
bahaha... xD but seriously, I do. xD
jetpackzach 5
haha :) wait work at subway or give me a footlong??
paigeatsflesh 11
work at subway! how am I supposed to know if I give you a footlong xD ahaha.
jetpackzach 5
oh yeah.... u should ge me a free sandwich :D
paigeatsflesh 11
haha okay(: shhh it'll be our little secret^-^
jetpackzach 5
ok :) how old r u? cuz I think u gotta be like 16 to work there
paigeatsflesh 11
I'm 17 :P
jetpackzach 5
oh sweet. in ur picture u look like 14 haha
paigeatsflesh 11
D: that's meann
jetpackzach 5
why is it mean?
paigeatsflesh 11
that means I look like a little girl. there's a big difference between 14 and 17. /:
jetpackzach 5
ok I'm sorry Paige. how old do I look?
paigeatsflesh 11
like 15 haha. and I forgive you, again!
jetpackzach 5
haha thanks :) and I'm 14 I turn 15 this september
paigeatsflesh 11
haha that's cute. don't forget to text Sam!
jetpackzach 5
I did already haha :)
Peacemaker9 7
omg!!! longest talk between two plp in this ever!!!!!
samantha_durano 6
no mine and Zach's went on for like 7 pages that one time, lol:)
Mervyn 0
Wow, and what made you think that would work?
Aj4710 0
I'm not sure if ur lesbian, but I have had experience with UTTERLY FAILING when I am around a girl I think is cute.
ImpatientFemale 0
xD that's great, I like spitting gum at strangers to impress women as well. It's kind of my hobbie :D
shawty_22 0
nice move
take_it_ez 0
be my gf!
afatmonkey 0
I know. When I want to impress a girl I lift my shirt to shoot lasers out of my nipples and blow up a car. Then I burn up a few cars with my flamethrower belly button. Works every time.
imakeubleed 0
loser.
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Mmmm. Bubblegum bubbles are sooo sexy. I would've been turned on.... If I were a five-year-old lesbian -_-
awesomechica1229 5
op was just going to blow a big bubble and pop it, thus making a loud pop so that the girl would actually look at them. Not to show how big a bubble they could make to turn them on.
MermaidSongXOXO 6
-_- ........ It's a joke.
Monikabug 9
Don't worry @42, some of us have a sense of humor and actually got that it was a joke. :)
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Finally someone gets it! Yay, Monika :]
vanillathirteen 0
my thoughts exactly purplehays XD