Today, while I was running around the block, I got the urge to spit. Suddenly I noticed this beautiful girl running in front me. Trying to impress her, I smiled and by mistake drooled everything on the pavement. She wasn't impressed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to get back into shape and go for a run. With a 1/4 mile left to run, I saw a hot chick a block ahead of me running. Trying to show off I ran hard and passed her stopping just outside my complex. I started to throw up right as she came past me because I had run so hard to pass her. FML
Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML
Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML
Today, while on my daily jog, I passed a very attractive girl. While passing her, she yelled "hey cutie". Trying to look cool, I tried turning around without stopping. I then fell off the curb and severely sprained my ankle. She caught up to help but was laughing the entire time. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML
Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML
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Top comments
skyle_fml 0
I hate people who spit all over the floor. YDI.
CaptainJellyBean 0
Ah, how inconvenient. I'm sure she was in fact impressed. Imagine how many envelopes you could seal with that amount of saliva!
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Comments (62)
designedlikedice 0
YDI for trying to impress someone. If you noticed the pattern, when you try to impress someone, it always blows right back up in your face.
zach055 23
YDI for spitting, I am evolved and do not spit
ntherewas1 11
It's like that scene in Harry Potter and the goblet of fire where Harry spurts out his drink at Cho! xD
skyle_fml 0
I hate people who spit all over the floor. YDI.
CaptainJellyBean 0
Ah, how inconvenient. I'm sure she was in fact impressed. Imagine how many envelopes you could seal with that amount of saliva!
softball_nerd_24 10
If OP was running behind the girl, how could she see him TRYIN to impress her? Most people don't turn around while running...(because they might fall)
aznleft4dead 0
haha high five
24788 7
It's not always a bad thing to make a goofy first impression. Just don't be a dick even though some girls might enjoy that.
ambisaurus 0
hahah at #3
missus_butter 0
Swallow your spit like a normal human being instead of trying to share it with everyone else. Spitting is disgusting and YDI just for that.
Madalena_fml 0
Talk about literally drooling over someone . Hahahahahahahahahah .
bedspring_kiss54 0
Spitting is really, really gross. Just swallow it!
legoman213579 13
But #9 that's gay
Thassodar 0
You were drooling at her hotness. I'd be impressed.