Today, I met my mom's new business partner for the first time. I shook his hand, and introduced myself as "Lisa's daughter." I'm a guy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML
Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML
Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML
Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. As I went to shake her dad’s hand, my nervous, sweaty palm slipped right off and I ended up tapping him on the wrist. He gave me the most judgmental look while I awkwardly apologized and wiped my hand on my pants. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML
Today, my mom started her new job; she's now my new coworker. She's already told the other girl I'd said she talks too much, and has berated me for not calling her "Mom" while at work. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, my dad introduced me to my half-sister. He'd only recently found out that he had another daughter by another woman, and had only just met her. She and I have been in the same class in school for the past three years. FML
Today, I finally let my parents meet a boyfriend of mine for the first time ever. My dad mentioned how he was happy to finally meet him, because for the past 4 years he'd thought I was gay. FML
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Top comments
metallica_wins 20
Giving some mixed messages as a first impression. Bold, indeed.
ThatsMyPie 20
To be trans- or not to be trans-, that is the question.
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Comments (63)
Fmlsea 28
a little bit of gender issues is there ? or did you just mix up what you were saying sometimes if im listening to someone and then replying back sometimes I mix up words together .
Lang88 13
Someone has way too much Estrogen
brandoneyez1 25
It's a good laugh, but I'm sure he knew what you meant.
tigrouficele2012 44
My grandma once introduced herself as my aunt. I haven't let her forget it.
FemskyD 26
Just laugh it off :) we all have those moments
kewpiesuicide 29
OP doesn't secretly want to be trans. If he did, this wouldn't be an FML, it would be a coming out story.
Schiffy 18
Well it would probably still be an FML, but it would have ended with "my mother didn't know about the sex change"
Luluthus 41
Are you having identity trouble?
vikky538 29
there you go...slipped the whole tongue out there..but interestingly what makes you do that...sorry OP it happens..
hellnosucka 27
what a terrible idea. you should've said that you're Lisa's mother, instead.
urinal_shitter 4
I would have enjoyed seeing the look on his mothers face as he introduced himself. Assuming she was with them when he did.