Today, I met my mom's new business partner for the first time. I shook his hand, and introduced myself as "Lisa's daughter." I'm a guy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML
Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML
Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML
Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. As I went to shake her dad’s hand, my nervous, sweaty palm slipped right off and I ended up tapping him on the wrist. He gave me the most judgmental look while I awkwardly apologized and wiped my hand on my pants. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML
Today, my mom started her new job; she's now my new coworker. She's already told the other girl I'd said she talks too much, and has berated me for not calling her "Mom" while at work. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, my dad introduced me to my half-sister. He'd only recently found out that he had another daughter by another woman, and had only just met her. She and I have been in the same class in school for the past three years. FML
Today, I finally let my parents meet a boyfriend of mine for the first time ever. My dad mentioned how he was happy to finally meet him, because for the past 4 years he'd thought I was gay. FML
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Top comments
metallica_wins 20
Giving some mixed messages as a first impression. Bold, indeed.
ThatsMyPie 20
To be trans- or not to be trans-, that is the question.
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Comments (63)
Just2cute2 7
If he doesn't believe you when you try to resolve it just show him the 'proof'.
drumguy218 11
you will most likely be tortured with that for the rest of your life
Nightheated 8
Self conscious trying to tell you something
icemand90 17
sub*
EddieR7 18
How does that even happen?
buckdharma 38
Did he kiss your hand?
annie_nk 23
Freudian slip, maybe?
Polynomial 28
And I have a pair of scissors, let's not leave you a lieaer.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Um, stay in your creepy corner with your scissors. I'm pretty sure OP actually doesn't want his dick sliced off. :P
annie_nk 23
Send him to the corner with a dictionary please. He isn't allowed to leave until he learns how to spell liar.
XxXBadAshXxX 27
Major slip of the tongue there
guineagirl 18
At least you didn't say you were Lisa's mother that would've been worse
1947Chevy 17
That's how you do it OP keep than on there toes and make them wonder about you