Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend at a dinner with our two families. Not only did she flatly reject me, my dad said, "Good call. He's not ready." FML
Today, my dad had a chat with my fiancé, telling him he can do better than me, and to think carefully before going through with our wedding. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML
Today, I was introduced to my dad's girlfriend of six months. I've already heard them sleeping together several times, and seen her car pull away early in the morning. After meeting face to face, I also learned that she's only two years older than me. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents for the first time. My dad took one look at him, sighed and said, "You deserve someone better. Someone who is responsible, and has their priorities straight in life." Beyond upset, I told my dad that I love him. My dad disgruntledly responded, "I was talking to him." FML
Today, I overheard my dickhead dad telling my girlfriend that she's too good for me, then asking if she really wants to settle for someone like me. FML
Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML
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Top comments
BitchPlease18 6
Maybe he has a good reason for saying that? After all you have been divorced twice...
CoolAidIsMyName 0
Did she?
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Comments (84)
CoolAidIsMyName 0
Did she?
bertman21 5
He sounds like a sweet man
p3mguin 7
How can you deserve this?
reason23x 0
Sound like a good time
rino1 2
Maybe his dad did it to help him, by saving him the cost of another divorce:)
nado13579 12
Did anybody else think of Ross from Friends?
danielle389 0
I thought of Ross from friends too haha
ZX6Rninja 0
What a **** blocker
KrayKrayGurl117 7
This reminded me of that one Kevjumba video ;P
SandiRainbowFish 20
FYL. Your dad didn't need to say that :| I'm sorry, OP.
Nbrandwine 7
And the ironic thing is your picture is a ****
RadikulRam 16
Not the actual definition of irony but ok.
BitchPlease18 6
Maybe he has a good reason for saying that? After all you have been divorced twice...
littlegreycells 6
OP could have been widowed twice, you never know!
A100893 30
I would be concerned if that was the case, 35.
auzz1_pride 9
35) widowed and divorced are two very different things.
StoryOfTheYear 15
41- Yes, yes they are. The FML doesn't specify though.
Zedd_fml 8
Third time is the charm eh?
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
If the he really divorced 2 times already, then their is probably something wrong with that guy, I'm just saying
littlegreycells 6
41- I am aware of that,but the fml doesn't specify. Op could have just had very bad luck and had both of their previous spouses die.
Aadavis94 25
Maybe it wasn't his fault both times. Maybe his previous wives both cheated on him.
GaleIsHawt 5
Dads always know what to say! :/ sorry about that though
TheNewGuy03 29
Except when they don't. |the kid|
Stupend0us 7
Well maybe third time will be the harm.
ganjaranja 10
charm*? ... or is there some pun i'm not seeing here.
Stupend0us 7
It was a typo not a pun.
Keattles 14
So by harm you mean 3rd divorce? Or maybe worse! (yes I know it was a typo)
ganjaranja 10
Tell her your pops just likes to mess with your wives, err, girlfriends, and to ignore his crazy ramblings.
JayDeLaGhetto 7
I hope this wasn't the first time she had heard about your 2 previous marriages.
kitkatmeOw 8
There is also the possibility op's father was lying and in fact that op had never been married before.
TarieBoo 2
then op would've said his dad lied about him being divorced twice and to get out while you can
mwebb8416 4
Thats a dick move..
SB1010 0
I hate when people talk about your previous women that died spontaneously while you were married to them... Ohh that's not what you said was it.. This is Akward
The_CL0GGER 0
You had a wife that died of "natural causes" too. Right?
thgiL 9
One quite naturally dies when oxygen stops entering the brain. So ya I can say that too.