Today, I made out with my friend for the first time. He gave me a hickey that can't be hidden. I'm the president of my church youth group and I have to help give a seminar on keeping your body like a holy temple... Tomorrow. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to his church youth group for the first time. I found out a girl there likes him, when she decided to pull me off him while we were hugging, and take my place. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, I got to my human anatomy class with a hickey on my neck. Since I sit in the front row, my professor noticed and decided to call me to the front. He then started talking about ruptured blood vessels and hickeys, all while as I served as the subject. FML
Today, I'm meeting my boyfriend's very conservative parents for the first time, so I decided to dress appropriately and curl my hair to match. In doing so, I accidentally touched my neck with the iron, and I now have a burn there that look a lot like a hickey. FML
Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML
Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, I locked lips with someone, or rather something, other than family for the first time in my life. It was a CPR dummy. FML
Today, I've been so accustomed to kissing my girlfriend that when I gave my best bud a hug, I kissed him on the neck. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
alex_vik 1
Practice what you preach.
xViolet11 0
you could of told him not to give you a hickey or not let him suck on our neck period. YDI!!!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (125)
kyutiepii 0
Oil-based concealer and having your hair down SHOULD do the trick. But DEFINITELY use the concealer if you can't work with your hair.
bugmenotmofo 34
religious hypocrisy ftw!!
Lisa89 3
If you belive in something.. don't go against it. You're a hyposrite. You totally deserve this.
AntiChrist7 0
Hypocrits, we all know one. YDI big time
perdix 31
A seminar?!?! What a poor word choice! Seminar has the same Latin root as semen. It's kinda ironic to have a seminar about not releasing semen.
idkweird 0
Haha, I LOL'd at this.
eggman37 0
make curling iron burns all over your neck and face, claim they are chickenpox and ask the group to pray for you.
xxjona777xx 0
you deserve it cuz you don't even practice what you belies and then u wanna go teach it
superheathen 0
You deserve it for being a youth group leader. XD What sort of messed up institution would declare a basic part of human nature as sinful? Oh yeah...the Church. If you can't follow all their weird little restrictions yourself, you really shouldn't be telling other people what they can and can't do.
idkweird 0
Man, we always had REAL people as leaders in my youth group. People who made mistakes and were willing to talk about them as a way to teach others. I will never understand this crap where people pretend to be better than they are.
ColdGold 6
Search your heart and be honest.
pjfromok 0
Use a quarter and rub it back and forth over the hickey. It will break up the blood vessels and go away. It really works!! Is next week gonna be over hypocrites??? That would be great.