Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream." FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me to hold her purse while shopping. All of a sudden, a robber punched me in the face and took her purse. She started crying about her purse and told me to get off the ground because I was embarrassing her. FML
Today, I noticed a woman struggling to work a parking meter, so I went over to help. She took one look at me before screaming, hitting me in the face, and running back to her car. FML
Today, I was at the DMV getting temporary tags for my new car. While waiting in line, a huge fat lady behind me felt the need to run her finger down the scar on the back of my neck. FML
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML
Today, a girl with her eyes glued to her phone bumped my arm going in the opposite direction on the sidewalk. She dropped her phone, chased me to the bus stop, and told everyone that I broke it. She threatened to call the police. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, while at the mall, a lady dropped her credit card while in line to buy something. I came over, picked it up and gave it to her just for her to shove it in my hand and scream, "She's stealing my wallet! My wallet!" The police came. FML
Today, I was at the store when I saw that a cart in the checkout line next to me was starting to roll away and the owner hadn't noticed. I tried to help by reaching out to stop the cart from moving, but when the owner saw me with the cart, she began to hit me for trying to steal her purse. FML
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Top comments
RetardedChipmunk 7
That's a weird fetish...
hellokat1 0
Did she eat it afterwards?
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Comments (302)
Chris5146 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
first
chris274 8
Gratz, want a cookie?
PopRocks14 0
nah, he wants a medal.
juicedboi 7
Yeah I know it isnt related at all but your hair is pure awesome. Wish more women were into that look
gntfmlingnow 12
Agreed with juiced
Prankster7o7 5
Most women aren't into that look because most of the time you can't get a respectable job looking like that, no offense. :)
grapisy 8
Or fried chicken?
grapisy 8
Or fried chicken?
Possum_Gurl 13
12- lmao!!!!!!
aussie_gemini 5
first is the worst, second is the best, 3rd is the one with the hairy chest!
ienjoithinqs 0
I thought I was second until I actually posted my comment and realized everybody before was just a split secound faster
Petunia888 13
I'm not gonna lie; I mostly liked this comment because you're vegan and you're from Canada. =)
Mistery510 6
my mom used to pick my sun burnt shoulders and back
RetardedChipmunk 7
That's a weird fetish...
FreakoHolm 6
That burns
kellanlvr 1
some people like when you pull off the skin though, my friends ask me to do it for them all the time
whiteboy7thst 2
what kind of freinds do you have?
xBangOut 4
well it's ok if you let your friends do it, but random stranger at gas station? creepy..
daisyloo 7
That is really, really weird! Ewww, I can't even imagine that happening to me. FYL!!!:(
wintamint101 7
that is disgusting
ByteCarter97 0
I place mirrors around my private areas just for this reason. Plus there's the upside of chamomile lotion!
Jakaroo 0
ya didn't have to make her cry...shame.
kaylaaa1312 3
thumbs up if you'd freak out on her too haha
shutup_matt 5
lmao that's lovely...
ArentICute 0
I modded this ^^
trevishere 7
Maybe she was getting it for the bird that likes to eat dea skin?
cameycamcam 7
She probably just has mental issues... but OP was unlucky
urdirtyolduncle 15
That's ******* weird bro.
jloldude 0
amen!!!
MrSassypants 34
85 please don't ask for thumbs up. I see that on YouTube and I do not want people to do this on here too.
johnson94 5
36 - are you friends with reptiles?
Iamnotmyself 17
-85 You act as if you'll get to the top of the comments. Do you have attention issues?
ScaughtieHolden 11
Gold member?
kellanlvr 1
108 everyones skin peels when you get sunburn.
Iamnotmyself 17
-139 He was referring to your friends peeling it off.
NavySEAL13 0
you know time it is. it's time to ( ****** up comment here ) .
scrapmetal58 9
You've gotta try it with BBQ sauce! It's delightful. It's already cooked! Myum myum!
lbumbblebee 5
On the brightside... your sunburn got peeled off ? lol
dolphincheddar 10
99. not all people with mental issues are stupid or insane.. bill gates has mental issues. don't stereotype you fat ****
FarSide 23
At some point, the dead skin attaches to healthy tissue; at that point, she could have pulled off live skin. She would have been crying alright... because my foot would have been firmly lodged up her ass.
lmfaoooooooooo 4
it was gold member in disguise trying and add to his collection of skin
kaykay9080 5
em0~
squishy01 0
Thank you 209. I was diagnosed with a form of dementia, and almost no one can tell. I just have some "special" moments. Yes, when you have mental issues, you can lead a normal life.
justintttttt 1
false
SeedlessMe 13
DolphinCheddar, that was a bit harsh, no? He wasn't saying anything bad about her, just that she may have some issues.. You're the one that's being rude! ....Dang
jennywho 3
Heyy! I know #36!!!
fatguy805 0
210- I agree haha
ccthompson 0
Weird!
futboljem 1
second
chris274 8
Not even fag, 2nd isn't even an achievement.
grapisy 8
3>2. just saying.
WoAhAnNa123 0
and you're third..
Seabeast1000 4
well to be fair both comments second and third were posted at the same time.
grapisy 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Was the woman skinny?
RetardedChipmunk 7
Because if she was that would make it totally normal.
SugarCrazy 14
What does her weight have to do with being a freak??
grapisy 8
Clearly you do not understand the pun. FML is about skin...
TheCountess 4
I see what you did there.
goshpeople 4
Or she was saving it to eat later. If she was indeed skinny.
2ndSucks 15
You so punny. :)
futtbuck101 1
Terrible pun.
theaws0m3guy 4
I thought it was kinda funny!
baby_dee97 8
88- love your pic!! lol lemme smang it girl smash it and bang it lol
MikalaHart 4
Haha!! first I thought you were an idiot... then I got it! it took me a while though...
Havin 19
I don't get it
Cryingraven 1
Who's the idiot nowwwwwwwww!? (Please don't take offense ^^)
d3ath1snatural 0
tbh. I think she was Bipolar
xxBFMVAAMIWxx 18
It was Goldmember
pickmikk 12
I wish I could like this 100 times. ****** funny pun
DudeBTM 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Aw, you made a lady cry. Shame on you, OP.
Chris5146 3
Do you have chocolate chip?
RetardedChipmunk 7
No do you?
iLoveUnionJ 8
SHE WAS PEELING SKIN OFF OPS BACK!! WHAT WAS OP SUPPOSED TO DO? "Oh yes random lady, I'd be more than happy to stand gere while you peel me away." Its just not normal.
aliadnan708 6
should've ran after her n hit her back
ImaWiseGuy 5
haha, if it was bad enough for a stranger to wanna peel it off, then you prolly should of let her finish...
wikkedphuka 0
austin powers ya fashhaaa
ienjoithinqs 0
you should make a scarecrow out of your sunburnt skin
mackop 0
eww..
hiyourcute 0
That is silence of the lambs creepy.
hiyourcute 0
That is silence of the lambs creepy.
hellokat1 0
Did she eat it afterwards?
vistamar 3
Austin Powers references ftw!
TripleD76 1
mmm yesh. that's a nice one. it's going in the box!
ByteCarter97 0
GoldMember just tasted it to make sure it was nice and salty, he didn't eat it. At least not on-screen.
lmfaoooooooooo 4
Austin Powers: England's answer to Chuck Norris
bennie226 0
Ewwww
ryrock310 10
76. Oh he ate it alright....
GreekYogurt 26
That's so ******* gross!
VeganVampyre 27
Ew... Who does that? My dad asked me to peel the dead skin off his sunburn once, and that was gross enough. I certainly wouldn't be doing it to some random stranger! Sorry you had to deal with such a creep, OP. FYL
sheethapins 13
Are you kidding? That's as much fun as popping pimples and waxing hairy men! Gives a strange pleasure only sickos like me would understand...
Ace021 0
Well. Honrstly I was boref and decided to read something, but when I read ur bio, it sounds that ur a really great person, amd nice. Hope we can talk sometime
bellakaykid 6
Can you say creepy?
AsianCookie247 14
Yes, Creepy.
MrSassypants 34
He said say it not type it. -_-
bellakaykid 6
She, athankyou ;)
MrSassypants 34
I meant to type the s but... I didn't....
LotsaLaughs 5
yes, "C R E E P Y"!
hobbsicle805 0
Creepy. now give me a ****** cookie
Insomniasenemy 6
Creepy!