Today, I made out with my friend for the first time. He gave me a hickey that can't be hidden. I'm the president of my church youth group and I have to help give a seminar on keeping your body like a holy temple... Tomorrow. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to his church youth group for the first time. I found out a girl there likes him, when she decided to pull me off him while we were hugging, and take my place. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, I got to my human anatomy class with a hickey on my neck. Since I sit in the front row, my professor noticed and decided to call me to the front. He then started talking about ruptured blood vessels and hickeys, all while as I served as the subject. FML
Today, I'm meeting my boyfriend's very conservative parents for the first time, so I decided to dress appropriately and curl my hair to match. In doing so, I accidentally touched my neck with the iron, and I now have a burn there that look a lot like a hickey. FML
Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML
Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, I locked lips with someone, or rather something, other than family for the first time in my life. It was a CPR dummy. FML
Today, I've been so accustomed to kissing my girlfriend that when I gave my best bud a hug, I kissed him on the neck. FML
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Top comments
alex_vik 1
Practice what you preach.
xViolet11 0
you could of told him not to give you a hickey or not let him suck on our neck period. YDI!!!
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Comments (125)
dave6000 0
your a loser for being in a church group
blastvortex 4
Here's a bit of advice — don't preach what you are unwilling to practice.
Vehicle 1
First of all, this is just your "friend"? Why are you making out? Second of all just because you make out doesn't mean you got a hickey... And if you did get one how are you not smart enough to hide it? Lol. I am lost.
Jrook 0
hypocrits go to hell, that's what I learned in church. if you don't shape up you might as well quit attending. I hate religion and how they tell people what is right, what's wrong, but then don't even practice themselves. I expect people to practice what they preach. I gave up on god a long timeago. but that's many many years after he gave up on us
pepolshet 0
1. YDI for kissing bums 2. YDI for being a who-re 3. YDI for not asking him if he had herpes.
jerrybast 0
we all know that god stuff is bullshit anyway. you should quit the church and contibute to planned parenthood or something. do actual good for society.
xxmarlboroxx 0
I agree. you are a moron, an you could have stopped the person from sucking on you. I hate hickeys. they are nasty and completely ugly. ydi ya hipocrite
frenchiek8 1
Just because you are christian doesn't mean you can't make mistakes, mistakes are human. An saying that christianity breeds hipocrits is really inaccurate, that comment obviously comes from people who are not christian and are judging the institution from the outside. Actually most christian churches teach that we are not perfect and there for should not judge, we are taught that our mistakes should be forgiven and that we love the sinner and hate the sin. The whole thing about Jesus taking a prostitute as a friend was to show that Christians should not judge and they should forgive others for their mistakes. And anyone calling a girl a hipocrit because she got a hickey should make sure that they have never had a one night stand that they've regreted and then called another girl a ****.
idkweird 0
I was raised Catholic. I see it from the inside. I was using the Jesus taking a prostitute as a friend to prove that exact point. That our religions were based on a man who forgave and didn't judge. I grew up in a church that taught us not to judge. One that had real people willing to share their mistakes with others. Even in a church like that, I still saw people judge. It took me a while to come to terms with my religion/spirituality. Though I align myself with Catholocism, I feel I am a much more spiritual person than a religious one. I feel like when the rules start getting added, that's where religions go wrong. People use those rules to condemn others. I, personally, have no right to condemn others. Even though Im completely happy with my life and have little to no regrets about anything Ive done, that doesn't make me any better than anyone else. My bf was raised in a church where you definitely did not have premarital sex. From his perspective, all it did was lead to younger marriages that, a lot of times, were unhappy and awful. He also grew up in a church where divorce was unacceptable. He still got one, and in turn, showed others that in some situations, it's ok. He said that with his ex-wife, they had spent so much of their time making sure there was no passion in their relationship (because even kissing can lead to other things), that once they got married, they were basically trying to force the passion. He said it was like trying to sleep with a sister. I choose to never have to go through that, and Im ok with that. I have my own personal relationship with God, and he/she does not judge me for enjoying myself.
sighfaise 0
shit happens, and you can easily bite and suck on a persons neck for less than a minute to give them a decent hickey.. true story.
james224222 0
way to be a hypocrit like the rest of the religous world