Today, I made out with my friend for the first time. He gave me a hickey that can't be hidden. I'm the president of my church youth group and I have to help give a seminar on keeping your body like a holy temple... Tomorrow. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to his church youth group for the first time. I found out a girl there likes him, when she decided to pull me off him while we were hugging, and take my place. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, I got to my human anatomy class with a hickey on my neck. Since I sit in the front row, my professor noticed and decided to call me to the front. He then started talking about ruptured blood vessels and hickeys, all while as I served as the subject. FML
Today, I'm meeting my boyfriend's very conservative parents for the first time, so I decided to dress appropriately and curl my hair to match. In doing so, I accidentally touched my neck with the iron, and I now have a burn there that look a lot like a hickey. FML
Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML
Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, I locked lips with someone, or rather something, other than family for the first time in my life. It was a CPR dummy. FML
Today, I've been so accustomed to kissing my girlfriend that when I gave my best bud a hug, I kissed him on the neck. FML
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Top comments
alex_vik 1
Practice what you preach.
xViolet11 0
you could of told him not to give you a hickey or not let him suck on our neck period. YDI!!!
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Comments (125)
catastrophicc_ 0
put green eyeshadow over it, then concealer. works for me everytime.(;
aback 5
Know what to emphasize. "YOUR body is a holy temple. MY body is more like a playground."
guifienta 0
haha
girlygirl666 0
@aback- The best comment!
girlygirl666 0
@aback- Best comment!!
CallMeHush 1
How come the sewer is so close to the playground?
Ventru 0
curling iron sounds like som1 elses fml don't double post ruins effect
turdburgers 0
The other kids will be able to relate to you more (since it's actually something you struggle and have experience with) than they would some prissy stuck-up girl who refuses to even kiss her boyfriend until they're married. Plus a hickey isn't a big deal anyway. If it really embarrasses you, get some heavy-duty concealer, and layer it on along with powder.
Dazzlinger 0
Never heard about scarfs?
cadillackitty 0
why dont you practice what you preach?
turdburgers 0
There's no proof she had sex. Nothing in the Bible forbids getting hickeys. Therefore, she DOES practice what she preaches (for now).
kakek_fml 0
If she was practising what she preaches, she wouldn't need to hide it and it wouldn't be problem.
kcdarkwolf 4
Christianity breeds hypocrits. Was he your boyfriend or was it just a friend? There is nothing wrong w/ making out or hickies. The bible is not against either. So relax and enjoy the pleasure "God" designed for you to enjoy.
xxreikoxx 31
Christianity does NOT breed hypocrites. Maybe you've seen poor examples of so-called "Christians" in your life, but I can assure you that not all of us are hypocrites. There are people like us who actually talk and walk.
idkweird 0
#52: The problem with that statement is that Christianity does, in fact, breed hypocrites. As a Christian, you are taught not to judge your neighbors, but to love them as you love yourself. When someone sees themself as making no mistakes, they look down on others. They see other's mistakes as making them hypocrites, or unworthy. Jesus took a prostitute as one of his closest friends. He healed people that others saw as unclean or unworthy. He also forgave. It amazes me when people who claim to be Christian look down upon others.
imajinethat 0
There are a lot of Christians like that, but also a lot who aren't. You just hear more about the judging ones because they're the outspoken obnoxious ones.
idkweird 0
Ive seen it. I know there are a lot who don't feel that way, but there are a ton who tell other people that they are going to hell because they don't believe in a Christian god. I actually watched a DEEPLY religious family drop one of the members of their family because she came out of the closet. Her friends and family just dropped her. I was just kind of like, "DUH?" My monsignor never treated her any differently, though. Just because she's gay doesn't mean she's any less religious or active in the church. Ive seen so many that I thought were good just turn on others because they weren't good enough. I almost left the church at that point. If it hadn't been for my monsignor's actions, I don't think I could have stayed. Especially in a church that taught so much love and compassion for others.
idkweird 0
I basically see it like this: If you get enough people together in one "group" you're going to have some bad apples. In religion, those bad apples get to use "religion" or "God" to hide their disgusting hypocrisies or judgements. There is always good and bad when you get enough people together.
teacher411 0
idkwierd gets my vote for best comentator(sp?) of the day!
tipoo_fml 0
Big fat PHOOOOONNNNNNEEEEEYYYYYYY.
ardnaid 0
I don't know why everyone assumes said hickey was on the neck. I've seen ones on faces before.
juju2_fml 0
maybe you shouldn't be president of the youth group!