Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, my hard drive on my computer crashed with all of my files on it. I took it to my Dad, who is a computer analyst, to see if he could recover anything. The only thing that he could salvage was my illustrious collection of porn. FML
Today, my coworker returned the camera I lent her. After plugging the camera into my PC, I saw a file was still on it. Wanting to make sure I didn't delete something important, I opened it. To my horror, it was a video of my coworker pleasuring herself. She's old enough to be my mother. FML
Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML
Today, I downloaded porn and saved it on my desktop. After watching it, I couldn't delete it, and now it is stuck on the desktop. It is a shared computer. FML
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML
Today, I found my dad's porn stash on his laptop. I went through it for a laugh to see what kind of sick, twisted shit he's into. Mostly nude pictures of my mum, as it turns out. I can't wipe the afterimage from my mind. FML
Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
robvicious_fml 0
masturbation is normal and healthy, tell'em to shut the **** up!
dino_witha_cape 0
delete all of their un-important files on their computer leaving a video of you screaming "NO!"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (215)
hawaiianxpunchx3 0
# 22. chill
iSocket 0
#22 - they probably didn't know. They probably just picked one at random, because regardless of which files were deleted, the OP would still have looked at the file remaining.
eschreib 0
hahahahaha
ChileanPepper 0
People flaming #11 are actually wrong. On NPR recently they were talking about a new study about people who watch pornography. In the study they were saying how it was actually bad for a person if they didn't experience sexual activity outside of the ****. They become dependent on the pornography for the stimulation and prefer it to real life. So watching **** all the time and jacking it can be bad. But it isn't as long as you do get some pussy every once in a while. So as long as this poster can get some and doesn't rely on his ****, it's alright.
evanwilliams 4
Why would your parents know which **** video is your favorite?
Dave010897 0
#4+#5 lol
Sasori_fml 0
Make a new pass word or make a pasword that they don know or put passwords on tyhe files
dwills36 0
Yes, masturbating is bad. Instead, go find a bunch of girls and sleep with all of them, with and without protection. People who still think masturbation (and sex in general) is bad are just morons.
WeStayCrunk24x7 0
not really an fml but still really awkward
Uchihamandra 0
if you wanna hide your stash propperly you need to change the folder icon to a word document and name it something school related then proceed to hide it in plainsite