Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, my hard drive on my computer crashed with all of my files on it. I took it to my Dad, who is a computer analyst, to see if he could recover anything. The only thing that he could salvage was my illustrious collection of porn. FML
Today, my coworker returned the camera I lent her. After plugging the camera into my PC, I saw a file was still on it. Wanting to make sure I didn't delete something important, I opened it. To my horror, it was a video of my coworker pleasuring herself. She's old enough to be my mother. FML
Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML
Today, I downloaded porn and saved it on my desktop. After watching it, I couldn't delete it, and now it is stuck on the desktop. It is a shared computer. FML
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML
Today, I found my dad's porn stash on his laptop. I went through it for a laugh to see what kind of sick, twisted shit he's into. Mostly nude pictures of my mum, as it turns out. I can't wipe the afterimage from my mind. FML
Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML
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Top comments
robvicious_fml 0
masturbation is normal and healthy, tell'em to shut the **** up!
dino_witha_cape 0
delete all of their un-important files on their computer leaving a video of you screaming "NO!"
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Comments (215)
17Master 0
Passwords are your friends. Apparently, so is your right/left hand.
Pimpshine99 0
#62, epic win
McLaughlane 0
what #1 said. It's normal and perfectly healthy. Tell your parents to stay off your computer. Better yet, password-protect it.
MikeT298 0
I used to bury my private folder someplace where no one could find it in my PC :)
Chaith 16
Doesn't sound like something a parent would say to their kid. They're funny :]
ammali 0
LOL, that's what passwords and stuff are for. If you keep that stuff out in the open, YDI. That's like leaving stacks of **** mags right in your room for anybody to see. Still sucks for you though.
eliz3 0
hypocrites...
Oden5061 0
you need to learn how to encode files so that they will only show up if you do a search in an archiving program, and are compressed in such a way that they won't show which format they're in until you open them, and that you need a password to open them. basically, you need to learn how to hide that stuff, and make it so you can only find it and open it with a password. and Get a real Life #11 it's been shown that medically Masturbating is a really good stress reliever, and there really is nothing wrong with it. the reason why it shows up in the bible is the same reason as the anti-homosexuality statements do. if your sperm wasn't making strong soldiers for the good of Rome, then you deserved to die. those were the reasons for those statements regarding sex. kinda out dated don't you think? oh, one other fun fact, marriage was only created so that a woman could be controlled for 9 months so that you could know who the father was. again, a Roman thing. I dare every religious fundamentalist out there to take a course in ancient Roman and Greek history. you'll find that most of the things in a bible had a reason other than "it's the word of god" *last part is off-topic I know, but I felt it needed to be stated*
asher888 11
win is all I can say
lol_Epic_Fail 0
#15 = Epic Win
redroses5 0
that's why you set your folders as "hidden," place them in a folder they wouldn't check, put a hard password on your computer, and delete every record of ever downloading it. you've much to learn, grasshopper. Oh, and did you keep on masturbating to your parents' video? haha
tehhotness 0
Thank you #69 (lol 69), I'm glad someone got it haha