Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to find my dad in my room, watching porn on my computer. When I asked him what he was doing, he closed the computer, stood up, stared at me awkwardly and then said, "You should really avoid those sites" and left my room. FML
Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML
Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML
Today, my dad came into my room, looked at my laptop, and said he could hear the porn I was watching all the way from his room. I wasn't watching porn. We soon realised it was actually coming from his mobile phone. FML
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I "jack off real weird." FML
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Top comments
SDee1234 11
Thats almost scary lol. He's spying on you:-P
Cortezthe1st 23
Maybe he noticed that everything was closed, so he assumed you were doing the nasty.
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Comments (148)
OBTrice 15
Maybe he saw it, or heard it some other time?
Demig0d6 14
Or he has spy cameras in the room
StillUsesMyspace 22
Maybe OP just needs to clean his room
chickenfeet223 11
Having a camera in the room, shows lack of trust. I hope not
Odb75 5
Spyware
badminton 14
Son I am disappoint.
tman1985 9
plot twist, op has an old fashioned keyhole style door knob. Win for Troll-Dad
Helpfulman 17
The router stores every website you've visited using that internet connection so I'm gonna say he was looking at that.
SDee1234 11
Thats almost scary lol. He's spying on you:-P
badluckalex 23
hidden cameras!!
xmusic4lifex 13
Or maybe he is just overall disgusted in you. Maybe the **** is unrelated.
Grenith 21
Let's hope so #53
ibanghellokitty 8
Let's hope that it was just expired junk food that he left But I hate it when people say something that paranoids me..
Matrixuniverses 13
Wow, he's probably just trolling
zandalee 20
Or maybe a great big dollop of sperm just dropped off the ceiling and onto his Dads face...:-))
BoltTheSuperdog 22
#62 WTF?!!!
viva_la_blondes 15
#62 as if that comment wasn't ew enough, thanks for the creepy happy face after it.
SPARTAN11810 9
@62 I can't even
JKPwnage 27
#89 What can't you even? Some papers?
The_4th_Doctor 13
Um. What the hell?
aireeahna 23
maybe he has your computer bugged?
MattM95 16
It's very possible #4. Also he could have been monitoring the network. Sucks to be you OP. I guess your dad is disgusted by a big chunk of the human population.
rylaii 26
only maybe?
niallo 23
He may also have a key logger in your computer. Or be recording the sites you go to. It's his internet access, you can't stop him. An answer would be pay for your own internet access.
SPARTAN11810 9
@81 With what money?
0ss 12
Bitcoins, that is if his isp will accept them. He could always try wooden nickels if all else fails.
Cortezthe1st 23
Maybe he noticed that everything was closed, so he assumed you were doing the nasty.
gjikvtj 18
Maybe he forgot to shut down the lump in his trousers
DonkeyTeeth2013 22
Maybe be a little more careful next time
FuckYouScience12 8
What are your genius ideas for being more careful?
omgitsmoe 26
HOT SPOT SHIELD
zandalee 20
Tinfoil on the head so Dad can't read his sons mind of course...
weveallbeenthere 30
what kind of **** were you watching. guess your dad can link up to your computer. I need to figure out how to do that.
tiernang 21
My dad works with computers, which is why I take an easy couple steps to not being caught. I only use my phones data just for this reason.
tomgun_fml 16
How?
xSphinx 18
Google.
JustinKirby 20
Maybe OP isn't as stealthy as he thinks.
Emzinatorbot 26
What does OP mean?
saad2605 16
#140 I'm guessing your new around here. OP means Original post /poster :)
JaffaMC 13
He looked through the keyhole.
Pixiecrack 11
close ur curtains I found out my parents saw through my window. ..never be afraid. ..u r dad did it when he was younger and it's a natural part of life...**** IT, OP!! Let ur shit hang loose!! :)
omgitsmoe 26
Your parents saw you ********** through the window?
Marley_000 14
You had me at "let ur shit hang loose!!"
cryssycakesx3 23
I can't wait for the English version of this comment to come out
Soloman212 28
Well, 49, fortunately that was the end of her comment, so you didn't miss much save an emoticon.