Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, my hard drive on my computer crashed with all of my files on it. I took it to my Dad, who is a computer analyst, to see if he could recover anything. The only thing that he could salvage was my illustrious collection of porn. FML
Today, my coworker returned the camera I lent her. After plugging the camera into my PC, I saw a file was still on it. Wanting to make sure I didn't delete something important, I opened it. To my horror, it was a video of my coworker pleasuring herself. She's old enough to be my mother. FML
Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML
Today, I downloaded porn and saved it on my desktop. After watching it, I couldn't delete it, and now it is stuck on the desktop. It is a shared computer. FML
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML
Today, I found my dad's porn stash on his laptop. I went through it for a laugh to see what kind of sick, twisted shit he's into. Mostly nude pictures of my mum, as it turns out. I can't wipe the afterimage from my mind. FML
Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML
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Top comments
robvicious_fml 0
masturbation is normal and healthy, tell'em to shut the **** up!
dino_witha_cape 0
delete all of their un-important files on their computer leaving a video of you screaming "NO!"
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Comments (215)
flyhigh26 0
haha thats why you don't save **** to a family computer.
cdehaan 0
I was always so impressed with friends who had a directory in the root called "C:/****". I guess they had better parents than you. =(
Conrad_fml 0
Deleting the **** is very much the right decision by the parents, but telling you not to **********? What the hell is wrong with them?
AlienDr1v3r 0
Bullsh*t... you invented that one
peacevitalove 0
hahahahaha i hate **** but yeah i love your parents. why dont you go to a strip club instead. its real life. unless your ugly..
MCart_fml 0
LMAO nice one #5. Except in the movie you should tell them that if they want you to stop masturbating they should pay for hookers for you instead, isn't that what the Bible says and all?
ssuseawolves2011 0
your parents are stupid and ignorant
ayywwb 0
How did your parents know it was your favorite?
takran 0
Your parents are hilarious. Those saying the parents have no right to go through "his stuff", you're assuming this guy is the rightful owner of the computer. No age mentioned, living with his parents? Probably like 16-17 years old on the computer his parents bought (for the family or for him). And if it IS completely his, he's stupid for not password protecting it.
were_giraffe 2
132 i agree. if he was in his own apartment that'd be a different story but... their house their rules those who object can go rent an apartment with him or stop crying >:)