Today, I've lost weight, given up beer, soda, and fast food, finished the house project backlog, cleaned the house, and gotten the kids on a chore regimen over the past seven months, all things my wife asked me to do to reduce her stress and revive her sex drive. Oh wait… she still won't have sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after my wife set a new rule to improve my health, one sex session for every three visits to the gym, which has greatly improved our sex life for two months, and I've never been fitter, but now she complains I'm not keeping her company on the couch anymore. FML
Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation daily in an effort to get pregnant. My husband has only had one task during the entire process, and after hours of gaming, he says he's just too tired to have sex. FML
Today, I officially completed my weight loss journey, only for my wife, who'd previously threatened to divorce me if I didn't lose weight, to tell me that she realized she liked me better when I was fat and that "you don't know what you have until it's gone." FML
Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML
Today, I realised my wife has been slowly phasing out most elements of our previously active and inventive sex life. These days, it's missionary once a month or she tells me to whack one off by myself in the bathroom. When did we get so boring? FML
Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML
Today, after years of my husband letting himself go and our sex life dying a slow, painful death, he's finally gotten my hints and started exercising and eating right, and he looks amazing. But now he has no sex drive and says, "I'm getting older, there are more important things to me than busting nuts all day!" FML
Today, I recently quit doing housework in protest at my husband's laziness around the house, forcing him to start pulling his weight. The house has never been so clean. Apparently, most of the mess was caused by me moving things to clean around them and making the mess worse. FML
Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML
Today, my wife has quit nicotine. As expected, she's put on some weight, but it's all gone to her butt, boobs, and hips. She looks better than ever, easily 5 years younger, but she's so upset about the weight gain that she refuses to let me touch her, and she wears baggy clothes 24/7 now. FML
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Top comments
ellenness 14
great! you've done excellently. but now she probably feels like she owes you sex and that is not a sexy way to feel. the book "Come as you are" is highly recommended by a lot of people for understanding female sexuality, maybe it's worth you getting?
Chazzster 32
The labors of Hercules were not intended to be successfully completed…. I would say that wife was looking for something to keep you busy - Not necessarily to get her into “the mood”…. It might be a medical issue or a relationship issue - Not likely to be a “chore” issue.
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Comments (2)
ellenness 14
great! you've done excellently. but now she probably feels like she owes you sex and that is not a sexy way to feel. the book "Come as you are" is highly recommended by a lot of people for understanding female sexuality, maybe it's worth you getting?
Chazzster 32
The labors of Hercules were not intended to be successfully completed…. I would say that wife was looking for something to keep you busy - Not necessarily to get her into “the mood”…. It might be a medical issue or a relationship issue - Not likely to be a “chore” issue.