Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, my hard drive on my computer crashed with all of my files on it. I took it to my Dad, who is a computer analyst, to see if he could recover anything. The only thing that he could salvage was my illustrious collection of porn. FML
Today, my coworker returned the camera I lent her. After plugging the camera into my PC, I saw a file was still on it. Wanting to make sure I didn't delete something important, I opened it. To my horror, it was a video of my coworker pleasuring herself. She's old enough to be my mother. FML
Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML
Today, I downloaded porn and saved it on my desktop. After watching it, I couldn't delete it, and now it is stuck on the desktop. It is a shared computer. FML
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML
Today, I found my dad's porn stash on his laptop. I went through it for a laugh to see what kind of sick, twisted shit he's into. Mostly nude pictures of my mum, as it turns out. I can't wipe the afterimage from my mind. FML
Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML
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Top comments
robvicious_fml 0
masturbation is normal and healthy, tell'em to shut the **** up!
dino_witha_cape 0
delete all of their un-important files on their computer leaving a video of you screaming "NO!"
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Comments (215)
stfu_bam 5
YDI for not having a password set up & for saving **** in the first place. The Internet is full of free ****, use that instead.
dick_head 4
Although you should have password-encrypted it (with TrueCrypt, for example), they have no right telling you not to ********** or watch ****. Next time you go out with them, you should start jacking off in public.
dick_head 4
Although you should have password-encrypted it (with TrueCrypt, for example), they have no right telling you not to ********** or watch ****. Next time you go out with them, you should start jacking off in public.
luvonsarah 8
Do they prefer you to run around sticking it at everything that walks?
matthewbowers88 1
I agree your life sucks but that's ace
sythe511 28
YDI for not zipping your **** stash and using 256 bit AES encryption.
Eggs6131 14
Log onto theirs and delete everything they've got.
Paksenarrion 24
Are you sure they said masturbation is bad or did they say **** is bad? If they said the first they are wrong for sure, it is healthy for both males and females. **** on the other hand is debatable. Someone else mentioned it throughout these comments but more studies are coming out saying how **** can affect your brain, especially watching it at earlier ages when the brain is still developing and you haven't had real life instances to counter balance it. Even adults in healthy marriages can become addicted to **** and unable to perform in the bedroom anymore because of it. Sucks that your privacy was invaded but on the other hand you seem to be underage and your parents have the right to stop you from viewing certain things until you move out.
FarFromHome_fml 17
They'd soon change their minds if they had to deal with the version of you that would come out if you pent yourself up by not doing for any significant length of time...
childproofpizza 19
i hope you whacked off to that video