Today, I left the iron and ironing board in my room. While I was at school, my mom decided to do some ironing, and did it in my room for convenience. The iron needed water, so she took a water bottle from my dresser and poured it in. It was my secret vodka stash, and the iron caught on fire. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom was in the kitchen when her shirt caught on fire. Acting quickly, I poured my glass of water on her. Instead of thanking me, she yelled at me for making a mess. FML
Today, while ironing some shirts, my cat decided to hop up and investigate. To prevent him from burning himself, I instinctively moved the iron away and placed it flat on my other hand. FML
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, I decided to be healthy and drink a tall glass of water whilst doing my assignment that is due in three days. I managed to spill the entire glass over my laptop. I flipped it over and used a hairdryer to dry it off. While doing that, I managed to melt my keyboard. FML
Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
Today, I was pouring boiling water into a cup, and I accidentally spilled it all over my hand. My mother responded by slapping me for getting water everywhere. My hand is scorched red, but thanks, I love you too, mother. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML
Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML
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Top comments
omg_18 0
not so secret if it was sitting on your dresser now was it. fail.
Zerenade 0
Wow, what a waste of a tasty beverage.
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Comments (154)
skygirl27 0
you gotta hide that shit!!
blacknotpink 0
YDI for not drinking it last weekend!
fcuk_fml 0
oh my god! that is so clever...! i would have never thought of that.
Pheonix21 0
Was your mom smoking and ironing? That's about the only way I could see vodka catching fire.
KawaiiRoxas 0
your moms dumb enough not to check if it was water first...
SpunkT 0
#17 who said anything about it being top shelf? Stupid kids don't drink Grey Goose. Unless maybe they're rich kids in which case I would guess that they've never done laundry before. #47, I doubt you would check. Most parents trust they're kids, at least until their kids do stupid shit like this.
doch_fml 4
Your fault for not hiding it better.
zach2519 0
Your mom must be really dumb.
Jezaroo 0
This didn't happen.
sober_slav 0
i call BS on this one. Alcohol does not ignite in liquid form unless it is roughly 57% by volume. Vodka is 40 per cent.