Today, I left the iron and ironing board in my room. While I was at school, my mom decided to do some ironing, and did it in my room for convenience. The iron needed water, so she took a water bottle from my dresser and poured it in. It was my secret vodka stash, and the iron caught on fire. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom was in the kitchen when her shirt caught on fire. Acting quickly, I poured my glass of water on her. Instead of thanking me, she yelled at me for making a mess. FML
Today, while ironing some shirts, my cat decided to hop up and investigate. To prevent him from burning himself, I instinctively moved the iron away and placed it flat on my other hand. FML
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, I decided to be healthy and drink a tall glass of water whilst doing my assignment that is due in three days. I managed to spill the entire glass over my laptop. I flipped it over and used a hairdryer to dry it off. While doing that, I managed to melt my keyboard. FML
Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
Today, I was pouring boiling water into a cup, and I accidentally spilled it all over my hand. My mother responded by slapping me for getting water everywhere. My hand is scorched red, but thanks, I love you too, mother. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML
Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML
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Top comments
omg_18 0
not so secret if it was sitting on your dresser now was it. fail.
Zerenade 0
Wow, what a waste of a tasty beverage.
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Comments (154)
DankJemo 0
Psh, maybe that will teach her... Your mom shouldn't be pouring random liquids she finds in a teenagers room into something that can combust.
FlightlessTalk 0
Couldn't have been that secret, if she found it. Find a better hiding spot.
peacevitalove 0
maybe you shouldnt have a vodka stash.. thats not healthy at all.
SurpriseButtseks 0
I'm with #77. You all sound ignorant.
InsomPsycho 0
hahahaha awesome.
cmullan672 0
liar....vodka isnt flamable unless it is below 0 degrees celcius fail
racer_fml 0
I agree who those that said that your mother is stupid. She actually violated one of the very first rules that parents teach us "do not assume that any clear liquid is water". I also assume that she tried to blame your for her stupidity and that's why you ended up in FML. We can also see that you are stupid as well, judging on where you hide your stuff from your parents. Having said that I have no other option but to agree that your life is f***ed.
skatrwannabe3 0
#59 needs to stop preaching. This site was made for ragging on idiots and showing pity for those who were genuinely ****** by life. Go take you morals somewhere else, like Myspace bullitens or some shit. And anyone calling BS on this story is absolutly correct. 140 proof/57% alchohol is the danger zone for flaming up AND you'd need an actual spark. Besides, if you were holding onto that vodka to take it out drinking and save someone a few bucks (for anyone who has a problem with drinking at the house, cause we have to be politically correct by society's standards on a site built for speaking your mind in a consequence-free environment) then you really should have at least put it in your dresser. Hopefully, that would make everyone stop bitching about finding vodka in the underwear drawer, too. Try putting a lock on your door, like any other self-respecting underage drunk would. That's how I do it =)
skatrwannabe3 0
I may stand corrected on the vodka ignition by comment number 70. I didn't think about the thermostat producing a spark.
kayleighcontrol 7
Hahahaa! I like your style :D