Today, I left the iron and ironing board in my room. While I was at school, my mom decided to do some ironing, and did it in my room for convenience. The iron needed water, so she took a water bottle from my dresser and poured it in. It was my secret vodka stash, and the iron caught on fire. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom was in the kitchen when her shirt caught on fire. Acting quickly, I poured my glass of water on her. Instead of thanking me, she yelled at me for making a mess. FML
Today, while ironing some shirts, my cat decided to hop up and investigate. To prevent him from burning himself, I instinctively moved the iron away and placed it flat on my other hand. FML
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, I decided to be healthy and drink a tall glass of water whilst doing my assignment that is due in three days. I managed to spill the entire glass over my laptop. I flipped it over and used a hairdryer to dry it off. While doing that, I managed to melt my keyboard. FML
Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
Today, I was pouring boiling water into a cup, and I accidentally spilled it all over my hand. My mother responded by slapping me for getting water everywhere. My hand is scorched red, but thanks, I love you too, mother. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML
Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML
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Top comments
omg_18 0
not so secret if it was sitting on your dresser now was it. fail.
Zerenade 0
Wow, what a waste of a tasty beverage.
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Comments (154)
LaskovyjZajchik 0
Damn. Sucks to be you! No vodka = no fun :( I just can't believe it caught on fire! Somethin' tells me it wasn't the best kind of vodka (Russian vodka, of course.).
MizzHollywood 0
God the mother is stupid! Okay, she needs water. Where does she look? In the DRESSER! So she just randomly finds a bottle of water in a dresser. She doesn't think about how it might not be water. Why would somebody keep a bottle of water in a dresser. IT's not that bad a hiding place your mother is just weird... I need some water. Let me go look in my dresser for some...
oooh_dear 0
totally your fault for leaving your vodka out in the open like that. hide it better freak show.
WeStayCrunk24x7 0
is your mom ok?
r_u_serious 0
I feel worse for you mom and have no sympathy for you whatsoever.
rrunner 0
impossible, 80 proof vodka is not flammable.
dwills36 0
I wanna say that if she find a bottle of water INSIDE a dresser, hidden among clothes, she would be suspicious and not just assume it's water. So, if this is a "secret stash" of vodka, wtf is it doing in plain sight? If you are going to hide vodka, you might as well just keep it in the glass bottle in a GOOD hiding spot, when you take it elsewhere that's what the water bottle is for.
RDMC20 0
Physically impossible ************, alcohol needs open flames at 40% concentration to ignite. there's no way an iron would reach hot enough temperatures to ignite it. busted.
iEuphorical 0
Your "secret" vodka stash is kept on your dresser?
tipple 0
Firstly, I laughed - which is why I come to this site. Second, YDI - leaving the iron and board in your room, *and* leaving unconsumed vodka around... Thirdly, to all the doubters: alcoholic liquids generally don't ingnite, true - but alcoholic vapour certainly does - which is exactly what a hot iron will do to any liquid - tun it into vapour. It's called a "steam iron" - there's a hint in the name. And as for spark - there is probably one generated every time the thermostat in the iron switches, which is about every 30 seconds on my iron. So, Mom having neither drunk nor sniffed the "water" has poured it into the iron. The iron as done what it was designed to do, and turned it into vapour. At this point, one would expect a fairly strong smell of vodka vapour to be detectable in the near vicinity of the iron. Perhaps Mom is unobservant; perhaps she noticed it but didn't pay much attention; perhaps Mom had a cold; perhaps the spell of vodka was covered by the smell of spray-on starch; - all possible. So now the thermostat in the iron switches, causing a spark...