Today, I left the iron and ironing board in my room. While I was at school, my mom decided to do some ironing, and did it in my room for convenience. The iron needed water, so she took a water bottle from my dresser and poured it in. It was my secret vodka stash, and the iron caught on fire. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my mom was in the kitchen when her shirt caught on fire. Acting quickly, I poured my glass of water on her. Instead of thanking me, she yelled at me for making a mess. FML
Today, while ironing some shirts, my cat decided to hop up and investigate. To prevent him from burning himself, I instinctively moved the iron away and placed it flat on my other hand. FML
Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, I decided to be healthy and drink a tall glass of water whilst doing my assignment that is due in three days. I managed to spill the entire glass over my laptop. I flipped it over and used a hairdryer to dry it off. While doing that, I managed to melt my keyboard. FML
Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML
Twisted firestarter
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Testing, testing
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
Today, I was pouring boiling water into a cup, and I accidentally spilled it all over my hand. My mother responded by slapping me for getting water everywhere. My hand is scorched red, but thanks, I love you too, mother. FML
FIRE!
Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML
Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML
Top comments
omg_18 0
not so secret if it was sitting on your dresser now was it. fail.
Zerenade 0
Wow, what a waste of a tasty beverage.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (154)
Zerenade 0
Wow, what a waste of a tasty beverage.
YANKSFAN4EVER 0
Totally your fault.
omg_18 0
not so secret if it was sitting on your dresser now was it. fail.
FweakofCydonia 40
Yes it is. Ever heard of reverse psychology?
omg_18 0
not so secret if it was sitting on your dresser now was it. fail.
hapylordofdeath9 0
secondly, why was she in your room to iron
Hummbinger 5
#118, im pretty sure you didnt read the FML, and #2, i think it would be pretty well hidden, cause the chances of someone drinking from your water bottle are pretty low
kennymack961 0
actually @121 op did say she got it off of the dresser.
ast3150 13
Would you rather suspect vodka in a water bottle on a dresser than in a cupboard?
CoDandBlowjobs 8
131 he knows that but who is going to drink from someone else's bottle
HighasaCloud 46
There's a little thing called "hiding in plain sight" that's been around for quite a while. It's not appropriate for every situation, but it's useful here because if it were well hidden (like in an underwear drawer) it would be very suspicious when discovered by OP's mom putting away clean laundry. Who goes to the lengths of hiding a simple bottle of water? I hope my explanation wasn't too complicated to understand and that it clears things up! : )
kittykat1501 31
Wow 151 not everyone is too lazy to put away their own clothes. I did it since I was six
Zigster94 0
and good hiding spot, at least she wasnt thirsty
MukyDaCookie 0
I guess hiding it in plain sight didn't really work out.
Laurkins 0
Did she ever figure out why the iron caught on fire?
tweetbaby14 18
she most likely didn't. now shenprobably thinks her daughter is the second coming cuz she has fire water
z4opv14 0
I wonder why she didn't know it was vodka..
safirestar09 0
It was in a water bottle.
wainersgirl73 0
And why would she be able to smell it right when it was opened?
davidpropert 32
Water is clear... Vodka is clear... It was in a water bottle... Need i say more?
blushinFML 0
I didn't realize the dresser was now a secret place? What, did she get the vodka from your underwear drawer?
666midnight 0
haha that teaches you to hide your vodka more effectivly then doesn't it? =P Least your clothes will smell of a burnt and vodka mix now ^_^
kelseymarie 0
why would she look in your dresser for water? oh yes my child keeps a bottle of water in her dresser like every other child.
kmknotek 0
it was on it not in it