Today, I left the iron and ironing board in my room. While I was at school, my mom decided to do some ironing, and did it in my room for convenience. The iron needed water, so she took a water bottle from my dresser and poured it in. It was my secret vodka stash, and the iron caught on fire. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom was in the kitchen when her shirt caught on fire. Acting quickly, I poured my glass of water on her. Instead of thanking me, she yelled at me for making a mess. FML
Today, while ironing some shirts, my cat decided to hop up and investigate. To prevent him from burning himself, I instinctively moved the iron away and placed it flat on my other hand. FML
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, I decided to be healthy and drink a tall glass of water whilst doing my assignment that is due in three days. I managed to spill the entire glass over my laptop. I flipped it over and used a hairdryer to dry it off. While doing that, I managed to melt my keyboard. FML
Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
Today, I was pouring boiling water into a cup, and I accidentally spilled it all over my hand. My mother responded by slapping me for getting water everywhere. My hand is scorched red, but thanks, I love you too, mother. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML
Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML
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Top comments
omg_18 0
not so secret if it was sitting on your dresser now was it. fail.
Zerenade 0
Wow, what a waste of a tasty beverage.
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Comments (154)
LysergicDelight 0
Not such a secret anymore.
ello_ello 0
drunk
mf_fml 0
SHE DIDN'T SMELL THAT IT WASN'T WATER?
kennymack961 0
Vodka doesn't smell that strongly.
BaldOuting 0
ballsy to leave it out as a water bottle on the dresser - but clearly it worked if she thought it was water. although now she's going to question every bottle of water/juice/soda you ever take a sip out of!
platypusrex256 2
your mom is retarded hahaha
may_cause_fail 0
Obviously, it could not have been very secret. Fail. :D
MrBigDog2U 0
I guess I'm a little dubious. Who leaves top shelf vodka sitting out in a water bottle?
HighasaCloud 46
Because a water bottle in a bedroom is nothing at all suspicious and would not warrant a second glance, much less investigation of it's contents. Nobody would think twice about it. It's a very smart tactic. Lern2Logic
nativebacon 0
I'm sure that she took it from ON TOP OF the dresser, not from inside it. Dur.
yeahreally 6
and thats when we put our secret vodka stash in hiding!
rabbi_zig 0
what kind of vodka are you drinking? very few vodkas light on fire