Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was petting my female hamster when I felt a big mass under her. I immediately thought it was a tumor so I poked it to see if it hurt her. It didn't. Turns out my female hamster is actually a male, and he has really big balls. I touched my hamster's balls. FML
Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML
Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML
Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML
Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML
Poor little guy
Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML
So…
Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and have to explain to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML
Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML
Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML
Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML
Top comments
RedTriceratops 0
But I don't have testicles.
cabbitt 0
I hope you learned to look where you sit.
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Comments (297)
BlaiseTheCraze 0
at least the hamster wasn't naked. then things could get awkward.
bozodaone 0
We all know you were "experimenting." Not fooling anybody, you filthy hamster face-sitter.
0mfgz 0
What the ****? What kind of person sits on a hamster? Sicko..
frankiefan 0
I hold between my buttcheeks... a hamster... that wiggles... itself!
Immature_fml 0
"Accidentally" seems too innocent a word if you thought it would die.
maddiewoah 15
LOLOL. YDI for not looking at where you were sitting. :)
Sekococo 0
@84 am behind you
allycatloo24 0
why would you even want to sit on a hamster in the first place? were you trying to kill it?!
Sekococo 0
Am i the only one on american soil that learn learnt is a word ? i knew this since middle school. damn sub humans dont know a simple word exist.
Butterfly_Kisses_fml 0
how the hell do you accendently sit on a hamster? they are the type of pets that you need to watch whenever you have them out, so you should know where they are at all times.:( and is is not a good thing that the hamster only bit you and didn't die. I mean, why have a hamster if you not getting bit is more important than it's life.:(??