Today, I told my friends I was kissed by a girl. They said "Yeah, probably by your mom." The sad thing is, they were right. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, I was told by my girlfriend that in the thralls of my drunken haze last night, I tried to French-kiss her mom. FML
Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML
Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my best friends in the past. We used protection, it never went anywhere, and we ended it amicably, but she still gave me a huge lecture. Later, she high-fived and congratulated him. FML
Today, my mom bitched me out in front of my friends because I had my first kiss at "such a young age". She's 15 years older than me. FML
Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML
Today, I was making out with some girl at a party and noticed that she wasn't very good at it. I tried to say, "You kiss like a 16 year-old doing it for the first time" but ended up saying, "You kiss like a 16 year-old." Upon saying that, a dozen people turned and looked at me, giving weird looks. FML
Today, I was talking to a friend about this stranger I kissed a few nights ago while drinking. I commented that I was ashamed of doing so, and to make matters worse, the guy was really unattractive. It turns out he was no stranger. I'd kissed my friend. FML
Today, after a long time convincing my parents that my boyfriend is really a good guy, not only did he decide to come by the house completely drunk, but he also ended up trying to kiss my mom, thinking it was me. FML
Today, I kissed a boy I have liked since the first day of university. I was thrilled until he followed it with, "Right, I don't think we should tell anyone this happened. Not that they'd believe it anyway." He then patted my ass and walked away. FML
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Top comments
MrConcise 35
Why would you even ******* brag about that?
feven 32
Welshite is human too.
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Comments (67)
Welshite 40
Still counts.
feven 32
Welshite is human too.
AlwaysWatching 27
I've seen my fair share of negative Welshite comments. Nobody is a comment-genius every time.
Roythetickler 21
Why say you kissed a girl when it was your money?
MrsHaxxo 22
money?
tzemmy 25
I think he meant mommy
Jason89 16
i wished i was kissed by money, except i kiss it goodbye
SadLittleTurtle 11
At least you have money to kiss goodbye.
be82tw 17
@2,9, 14, Autocorrect can be a real birch.
muarif 19
Birch, yep xD
guinea_pigs 9
Hopefully on the cheek? No worries, OP! You'll find your love someday!
MrConcise 35
Why would you even ******* brag about that?
TheBelt 19
Probably his first kiss.
clemscott 10
Your picture fits your comment perfectly
meganmax 14
they cray cray?
Wabbajack789 15
No 42, just no.
archnarquibquib 21
You should have told them "No, it was my grandma!"
boberle83 10
How did this get past moderation
feven 32
Yeah.. You definitely had that coming
feven 32
To be fair we don't know OP's age
abNormal62 23
Absolutely
abNormal62 23
Anyone else placing this guy's age as under 15?
Vestin 18
#13: 30 seems more amusing to assume...