Today, I reported my neighbor to the leasing office for never picking up her dog’s turds. They told me they couldn't do anything without proof, so I snapped a picture and sent it in. Ever since then, I’ve been getting dog turds thrown on my porch. Coincidence? I think not. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my neighbor finally decided that when she walks her dog, she should pick up his poop. She also decided to leave the poop-filled bags in my driveway. I confronted her about this and she claimed it's never happened. I've watched her multiple times from my front window. FML
Today, after weeks of asking my neighbor nicely to pick up his dog’s crap out of the common area, I got fed up and reported him to the landlord and the city. He’s now been given two options; either get rid of his dog or move out. He’s now sworn revenge on me, even though he was the one being gross. FML
Today, having such terrible social anxiety and being terrified of confrontation, I confided in my apartment's maintenance man about my neighbor not picking up her dog’s poop. He assured me he’d handle it. He reported her to the leasing office, and now she and her kids are getting evicted. I feel bad. FML
Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, a neighbor chose today of all days to drop off her junk in front of my condo/apartment. My relative owns and I rent. I got a letter from a different neighbor, stating that if I continue this egregious behavior of using my apartment as a trash dumpster, she will be forced to report me to the HOA. FML
Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML
Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML
Today, I confirmed that my neighbors burn their garbage in their backyard. How? My dog just threw up a nice smelly consistency of spaghetti, plastic and cigarette butts on my carpet. FML
Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
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Top comments
TomeDr 25
Time for a security camera.
poeserpursche 11
Well, at least she picks picks up the turds now. Snitches get s̶t̶i̶t̶c̶h̶e̶s̶ turds, you know.
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Comments (8)
poeserpursche 11
Well, at least she picks picks up the turds now. Snitches get s̶t̶i̶t̶c̶h̶e̶s̶ turds, you know.
TomeDr 25
Time for a security camera.
MorganHex 28
Could be considered vandalism. get a door or porch camera. get proof. press charges.
RichardPencil 32
You weren't specific about where you neighbor should put the dog turds after she picks them up. One can only assume you'd want them on your porch.
Bogrbon 27
Get a sample, send it for a DNA test, then sue the woman and during discovery collect a sample from her dog. Or just collect it and see what she says when you tell her you’re doing that. This woman should be bum-rushed out of her house for shit like that.
WhataStrangeTripThisIs 24
I can't believe snitches like you actually exist. Did you also get a thrill checking hallway passes?
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Save them up for a month or three and dump the whole lot of them on her porch. What’s she going to do? Report you for giving her back the dog turds she’s been vandalizing your property with? A simple DNA test will prove they’re from her dog.