HttpsHaileyy
United States
Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
poop
Today, my sister gave my laptop away and dumped a pile of her hamster's turds on my bed. All of this because I flushed the toilet while she was in the shower last night. FML
Anonymous
Spring Branch, United States
Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML
Anonymous
Santa Rosa Beach, United States
Today, my hamster had babies. I came home just in time to witness her kick the mutilated bodies of her two babies out of her house, then crawl back in and go to sleep. Now my sister refuses to touch her and calls her a "baby-eating demon." FML
Anonymous
United States
So…
Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and have to explain to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML
gvmfvr
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Fontenay-sous-bois, France
RIP Tiddles
Today, my little sister was in charge of doing the vacuuming, when she decided our hamster had "dust on his back". FML
vkryss13
Tamuning, Guam
Today, I accidentally sat on my sister's imaginary monkey. She then stabbed me with a pencil. I still can't get the piece of graphite out of my hand. FML
bloody hell
Para?aque, Philippines
Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML
Anonymous
Ireland
Today, I accidentally left my sister's hamster's cage open and it escaped. My dad recently put mouse traps down. Guess where I found her. FML
Anonymous
Poor little guy
Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML
littlemiss
Whitby, Canada
Affectionate, huh?
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
Top comments
Stillo 25
That's not a very polite hamster she's got there
xJChristine 16
why would you insult a hamster? still not a good reason to hit you though
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Comments (124)
Liamj774 36
I sure hope it's the kind you sit on
bulletsinthewind 21
Well that could be both. Everyone's in diapers as an infant lol.
EarlFug 19
How does someone insult a hamster??? "Hey hamster, where's your tail? Bet you wish you were a gerbil! I hope you break your leg in that stupid wheel!"
littleking94 14
Or maybe she just called it fat. I agree though, this makes no sense
EarlFug 19
"Hey hamster, looks like you could use a few more hours on that wheel, tubby! Have another donut! Are you sure you're not a guinea pig? No wonder you don't wear pants -- none would fit your fat hamster ass!"
Diarrhea_Volcano 29
Asshole. Hamsters have feelings you know.
Cads1 24
A stool or her stool?
SS 31
I believe the FML says 'a' stool.
dreamful_artist 14
Why would you even insult a hamster in the first place? Haha.
henrylikestreats 22
Why insult the hamster, though?
CosmicElk 26
Talk shit get hit.
littleking94 14
Ahhh yeeeaahh
tabbycat2007 22
Bitches get stitches!
jat_fml 3
talk hit get shit
igg125 30
You don't insult your sisters hamster while she's watching WWE
thorpe90 8
Big ass hamster
StickyPickles 33
Some people are too obsessed with their pets. . I had a ex compare her dog to my son as if they were equal.
SS 31
Guess there's a reason she's an ex eh? ;)
confused_wandere 26
They aren't equal to you, they are to others. Just because you love your kid, doesn't mean the rest of the world should give a damn about him. I certainly wouldn't. Give me a dog over a brat anyday!
StickyPickles 33
Several reasons my friend, the dog being one of them
confused_wandere 26
If you didn't accept her dog, then she deserves better than you. My partner will always have to accept my dog or they will be gone quicker than they can say "oops"!
Wakachulak 22
#35, Remind me to never become your partner.
confused_wandere 26
Oh don't worry #40, I wouldn't even consider you if you didn't like my dog!
StickyPickles 33
You are ******* stupid. You must not have children or you would know the difference
confused_wandere 26
I have absolutely no intention of having children, they would be too inconvenient to my dogs and that is not fair, the dogs were there first. No need to be so rude, the truth hurts. The world does not revolve around you or your kid.
StickyPickles 33
Nor does it revolve around your mutt.. So, until you have a child (if anyone would ever actually want to procreate with you) I say shut your trap and go jerk off your oh so wonderful puppies. . Also I hope you feel real accomplished having a domestic pet as your legacy. . Please purchase a very large plant and carry it everywhere because the trees must be pissed off you are breathing the oxygen they provide for the rest of us.
confused_wandere 26
You are a filthy piece of work. A truly disgusting human being with a pathetic, waste-of-space brat for a kid. How anyone wanted to procreate with YOU is beyond ME and how anyone will want to ever consider loving your child is even more beyond me. At least puppies cannot grow up to be rapists or murderers like your son probably will be.
confused_wandere 26
Not even a potted plant would want to waste its oxygen on you.
jforren 14
Both of you need to chill smh. Some people truly don't like children, and love their pets as if they were their kids. Others could never see that comparison. Doesn't mean you two need to have a freak out. Grow the **** up.
StickyPickles 33
Truly intelligent and well thought out response as you know so much about me and my son. . I bet you feel accomplished with that random bashing of a child you know nothing about.
conman531 23
Sounds about right