Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML
Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML
Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
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Top comments
vrossie_ 15
Can't you call then cops for that? ..
123amanda123 14
the poor hamster! :(
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Comments (297)
vrossie_ 15
Can't you call then cops for that? ..
TheLonelyZerg 5
Yes you can. Animal abuse.
ShyAnn29 15
And breaking and entering.
slickchrome 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm shocked she didn't eat it
JokersHQ 21
Not only animal abuse by breaking and entering. Also, if se was indeed abusive, you could bring that up in court as well. Honestly I would look into a lawyer if I were you. She took it too far by abusing then breaking and entering. The animal abuse on top of it all is horrible and she needs to be held accountable for her actions.
fml121785 14
I would definitely inform the authorities ASAP. For her to take her aggression and anger for you out on an innocent, helpless animal is not only wrong, but it's also sick and may be a sign to some sort of sick mentality that could come up in the future again and maybe on something other than a hamster! People who murder people usually started out by killing and hurting animals at one point!
Jivesliven 24
#85 You're picture is perfect for this.
chelseaaababyyy 17
He should. That is not okay. He needs to do something about the sociopath before he's the one she's stabbing instead of an innocent animal.
hessel 13
**** my life? **** your hamsters life
ptoka 20
Or stab her with a fork and see how she likes it... Or that may lead to more issues (you'd feel slightly better though)
skatoolaki 24
A few charges as well as a restraining order. She's obviously seriously unhinged.
KawaiiCupcake 14
Man I have tears in my eyes! That bitch better go to crazy house before she burns someone's dog or kills a person!
BradTheBrony 19
#124: What life?
kitsune309 15
Too soon, 216.
tjv3 10
Why do most of the crazy women have to be in Texas . Sorry OP
AvengingAngelx 20
#264 Because all my exes live in Texas...
123amanda123 14
the poor hamster! :(
corporatescoundr 25
But better the hamster than you OP. I'm not saying its ok to stab hamsters with forks. Just it could've gone a lot worse.
brewmasterg 34
A human would survive a forking. I'd take a fork for my pet.
tiernang 21
in movies im never sad when people die, but i am always sad when a dog dies.
brewmasterg 34
#45, I don't think it's bad. The hamster is an innocent, unrelated party which could not possibly defend itself which easily makes it worse than stabbing a person.
Missyeru 14
Reading this FML made me sick to my stomach!
FrietvanPiet 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
its just a hamster
kinky44 28
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You can't describe a hamster as "innocent". It can't make choices that would label it as guilty or innocent. And it is just a hamster, definitely with a connection to OP, but better the hamster than him.
gc327072 31
A hamster getting stabbed with a fork would be like a human getting stabbed with a telephone pole.
ninety 25
@167 - innocent is not describing the actions of the hamster. It's describing the fact that the hamster had nothing to do with what happened between OP and his ex.
Arrow44 10
I seriously stared jaw jacked at this post.
doobutokkii 2
Hammy was in the wrong place at the wrong time.. ;~;
asnakelovinbabe 16
I'm not one for fuzzy pets, except for rats, I really like rats.... But a pet is a pet and that's so shitty that the hamster had to suffer what was probably a horrible death because some bitch is crazy. If my husband and I ever split up and he harmed one of my snakes he'd be a dead man walking.
benmec 18
Op has a hamster?
thatguynamedsky 32
i made it 666 enjoy
MoidixMois43 21
D: ^does not begin to describe my feelings upon this fml.
happle 21
This wasn't entertaining at all. That just made me depressed. :c
Gearden 8
I normally like fml to laugh at the misfortune of others. this was so sad it ruined my whole day... it ruined Saturday, that's like my whole weekend, I extra hate that bitch now.
mFUNdo21 17
lies down tries not to cry cries buckets
DedicatedNova 13
Time for a new girlfriend... And hamster.
BeccaHugs 17
I think he had already realized that, hence him breaking up with her in the first place.
beclaurela 18
Too soon dude. Have you ever lost a pet?
threer 30
What if she forks the new girlfriend?
yoimtrollin 24
Breaking and entering with attempted murder? Obsessed ex girlfriends suck man
Bookoholic 11
Oh my god! That crazy bitch!
wonderfulrosie 13
Seriously, what the hell is wrong with her? Like what goes on in that girl's head that she can do something so sick?
Incognito_1924 17
I don't know. But I suggest OP runs long and far..
sniken 14
Dude! Get her some help!
confusedAsFuck 34
To hell with help. Get her some eye stabbing with a tooth pick..... oh wait, that might be illegal..
junkman6 22
I've never wanted to kick a woman's ass until I read this FML.
jw90 18
@ 131. I'm right up there with you man.
sniken 14
Pressing charges is also help, Im guessing she's more likely to be tied up at a ward then locked up in prison. In which case you are helping her.
threer 30
#131 and 132, stop singling out women. Kthx
starile 20
#160, pretty sure they meant just that one particular woman. They're not saying they wanna go kick women's asses now. Just that anyone they've wanted to beat up has been a dude up to this point.
Heathtastic 10
**** getting her help. Make some friends with some pet loving bamfs and give them her address
WCARlover 35
Sorry to hear about your hamster, but I am happy to hear that you were able to get away from your abusive girlfriend. Next step: restraining order.
kyriatic 1
Restraining orders are just a piece of paper. Concealed carry against that bitch!
Simbaby 23
Time to go get the b*tch. Innocent animals don't deserve that, just because she can't handle the fact that a guy that love her so broke up with her, because she was abusive.
iajm02 13
Make sure you call the cops... And stay away from that crazy bitch.
ninety 25
say she stabbed your pet though. The operator might not take you seriously if you say your ex broke into your apartment and stabbed your hamster.
fictionaldiary 11
That won't un-stab his hamster.